A Call Requires An Answer

Dear Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends:

I want to tell you all how much we appreciate your prayers, thoughts, e-mails, etc. God uses each of you to encourage and teach us in many ways. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and communicate with us as often as you feel led. We love you all and pray that you are able to see God's Blessings all around you each day even amidst the chaos of busy everyday lives.

I am writing to you today to give you a snapshot of my heart and the road on which God is calling us to travel...

click...FLASH...press review(digital cameras are great - instant picture:))...here is my heart...

I interviewed a guy just recently. He worked for DOD and had some issues come up which required me to ask him a lot of questions. He was 61 years old and completely broken. His marriage of 20 years had ended in a heart wrenching divorce just a few years ago. He went through a period of time a couple of years ago during which he was sick and spent a lot of time in the hospital. He thought he was dieing. He had made some bad decisions which resulted in some criminal issues in 2006. Again, he was 61 years old. He cried three times during our interview. His eyes were full of pain. I looked through them and saw a heart full of holes which have come from the chaos in his life. His eyes reflected the hopelessness that his heart felt. I knew in my heart that all he needed was for someone to show him some glimmer of hope. He needed someone to let him know that he is indeed loved and that his despair does not have to continue. He needed someone to tell him about Jesus. I wanted so much to put my briefcase away, take off my jacket and tie, and wrap my arms around him and tell him about the Hope of hopes. But I could not...I represent the Federal Government and the Federal Government does not do that sort of thing. So instead I did my best to focus on my task at hand and suffered inside as he suffered outwardly . I walked out of that interview thinking only about an opportunity missed, and wondering if I should have risked my job to tell him the answer to his chaos.

So do you think the picture turned out clearly? I think so...

We made the decision around March 2006 to move to Clarksville, TN to help First Church of the Nazarene in the planting of a church in inner-city Clarksville. Not just any church, but a church that will reach out to the addicts, prostitutes, mentally ill, poor, homeless, etc. We left successful careers in the Army and set about preparing to move and buying a house before I had obtained a job in Clarksville. We made some pretty irrational, unreasonable, and crazy decisions. People would ask me what I was going to do for money. I told them I really did not know. I had a wife who we planned on being a full-time mom to our newborn son at the time. There were many who probably thought we were a little out of our minds. And they were absolutely correct! Our decisions had nothing to do with rational thoughts or a logical decision making process. We made them because God called us to Clarksville. We had faith that He would bless our obedience in that call by providing what we needed. He did indeed provide! I landed a job about 30 days before moving. The job started two days before my Army pay ended. We found a house and were able to purchase it and we have all that we need and quite a lot more.

Many have told us that our example of faith was a great inspiration and encouragement. Indeed, God uses His people at those moments in which we decide to lean on His understanding, instead of our own, to show His faithfulness to all those around. And it did take quite a bit of faith to do what we did. I thank God that He has blessed us with that faith. It is not of our own creation nor is it anything about which we can boast.

Despite the move, I must confess to all of you that I have not been the faithful servant to God that I am supposed to be. I have spent the last six months working a full-time job and trying to squeeze in some extra hours here and there helping with Radical Mission and the church. My heart has not been at peace for the last six months. Everyday I have been struggling, wrestling with God. God did not bring me here to try to squeeze some hours in at the church. God brought me here to work in full-time ministry within the church and squeeze in a part time job as needed. I have been struggling with the responsibilities of household bills, mortgage, land payments (lots we own on Lake Cumberland), healthcare, etc. All the stuff that the world tells us we should worry about. I have been telling God that it would be irresponsible of me to work at the church. The church can not pay me. I am responsible to provide for my family. Every day, and through just about every sermon in the past six months, God has been telling me not to worry about those things. But I continued to worry and I attempted to ignore Him. Honestly part of me hoped the call would go away, at least for a little while. It did not. Instead it became louder and harder to block out.

This past Sunday, our pastor preached a sermon on, you guessed it, FAITH! The Holy Spirit did not pull any punches. I my heart was black and blue by the end of it. I knew that I was not being obedient to my Call. I knew that despite what many around me thought, I was not a good and faithful servant. There was an invitation to pray after the sermon and I all but bolted to the alter, kneeled, and began to pray.

And then the Holy Spirit really unleashed. Jeff and Rich came to pray with me. I love them both. Jeff began to pray aloud and as my heart was pleading with God to take away my fears. The Holy Spirit seemed to tell Jeff exactly what I was feeling at each moment. Every fear I expressed silently was the exact fear for which Jeff prayed next. I just felt smaller and smaller and smaller. And God kept looking bigger and bigger and bigger. The Holy Spirit was telling me to stop worrying about all of this, God has this under control, He knows what he is doing, you can trust Him, He will not let you fall. God is bigger than all of my worries and fears. I asked God for a peace, an overwhelming peace that would outweigh the fears of my flesh. He did indeed provide!

I spoke with Jade about all of this later that Sunday (she was in nursery, not in service with me). Jade had a peace about it as well. Which is another great sign that God is working. Trust me! When you tell your wife that you believe God is calling you to give up your job and work for the church for no money and she says, "lets do it", that is a God thing!

God clarified something else to me that Sunday afternoon...I was living as though providing for my family was the number one priority in my life. I was wrong. My number one priority as a husband, father, and spiritual leader of my household is to obediently lead my family down the path on which God has called us. When I lead obediently, God opens up the doors through which all the provisions we need will come. He has always done so before. Why was I doubting Him? Because I am weak, but He is oh so strong.

God is calling us to be Missionaries to Clarksville, TN. To bring the reality of the Good News to the those who have never experienced Jesus. I am quitting my full time job with USIS as of 27 January. I will be coming along side of pastor brett smith and assisting him in the awesome task of being used by God through Radical Mission to show Jesus to the outcasts of Clarksville. The church will not be paying me anything. I know that God has provisions already set aside for us so that we can focus on His work. We just have to set our eyes on Jesus and step out of the boat. I plan to have a part time job of some sort at first that will assist in keeping food on the table and a roof over our head. I also intend to look into going back to school at some point with the goal of getting a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling. We are excited and at peace about this step closer to God in our lives. I am looking forward to see what God has in store for us...the ministry, the blessings, the suffering, the joy, and the grace.

We need your focused prayers. My brother, Nathan, once said that we should all be specific in our prayer requests so that our brothers and sisters can focus their prayers as well as see the Majesty of God as He answers those prayers specifically. So here are our prayer requests...

1. Wisdom, Faith, Boldness, Compassion, Perseverance, and Grace
2. Protection - Satan is not liking this decision we are making, pray that God delivers us from evil and leads us away from temptation
3. Healthcare for Caleb (Jade and I are now enrolled in FREE VA medical care for ANYTHING needed aside from dental and vision for the next two years, Caleb is not covered)
4. Lots on Lake Cumberland will be sold (been on the market for 10 months, our financial needs will greatly decrease once it sells - anyone want some great lake property:-) )
5. Provision - please pray that God opens up His storehouse and provides the financial resources we need as we focus on His ministry.

We also need your thoughts, words of encouragement, words of wisdom, words of caution, etc. No Christian is an island. God created the community of believers as a source of inspiration, encouragement, wisdom, guidance, and love to all us. We need all those things, but most of all we need your love.

We love you all, thank you for traveling this road along with us. We do appreciate your presence in our lives. Keep the Faith! God Bless you all!