as God wills....we will follow

Mike is discharged

2009-04-13T11:59:00.002-04:00

After several days of saying it was probably not a seizure and was probably a heart arrhythmia the doctors declared on Friday that it was a seizure and stopped all heart tests and switched his seizure medication cold turkey. He was then released on Sunday. He is feeling confused and drugged after the medication change and this is said to be normal for up to 2 weeks. Please pray for his body to adjust to the new medication quickly. Also, since it has been determined to be a seizure he will be unable to drive for 3 months now. This will make his job more difficult so please be praying for them to have patience during this time and pray that his work would still be productive. This has been a trying last 10 months for them and they greatly appreciate all of your prayers. Their faith in God and the prayers that have been lifting them up during these times is what has pulled them through. Thank you all so much for those thoughts and prayers!

Jade

New Update on Mike

2009-04-08T14:03:00.002-04:00

Currently the doctors are waiting to get copies of previous CAT Scans and MRIs done on Mike's heart to compare to the ones they performed last night. It is believed, but not confirmed, that Mike might have had a Heart Arrhythmia and passed out, hitting his head and knocking himself unconscious for 2 hours even after the heart corrected itself. Apparently he said that the day before he had a fluttering feeling in his chest, but no pain so didn't think about it. He has been admitted and they have thrown out the words "Pace Maker" although no one has said that this will actually happen. It is strongly doubted that he had another seizure, which is a praise.

Please pray for wisdom for the doctors so that they can find out exactly what happened and treat it in the best way possible.

Please pray for strength, peace, and comfort for Mike and Debby as they process through this. Also, for wisdom as they decide what to do about moving to TN to be closer to family.

Please pray for healing and protection for Mike.

Please pray for Mike's work and their finances. All of the illness's have prevented him from being able to work as much and this is hitting them hard financially. Also please pray for their house to sell to free them from that financial burden and allow them to buy something in Clarksville.

Thank you all for your faithful support, prayers, and encouragement!

Jade

Please pray for wisdom for Mike and Debby as they

Update on Mike

2009-04-07T21:52:00.002-04:00

Debby has a friend in Russel Springs who is driving her to the ER so she will not have to. Debby's brother is following the Ambulance to the ER at Baptiste East Hospital in Louisville and will be there with Mike. There is a cut above his eye but the EMTs did not seem concerned about it, though they were having trouble stopping the bleeding (he is on blood thinners after the heart attack) and it was the cause of the blood. The main concern for the EMTs was that he passed out. Thank you again for your prayers.

Jade

Please Pray for Mike Burdette

2009-04-07T21:40:00.002-04:00

I just received a panicked call from my Mother-in-law, Debby, who informed me that Mike, who was staying in Louisville this week alone for work, called her and has called 911 because he awoke with blood all around him, has no idea what happened, and doesn't remember anything from the last 2 hours. He has a history of seizures and recently had a heart attack. Debby also needs your prayers as she is scared, confused, and now has to throw a few things in the car and drive 2+ hours in the dark to Louisville to see him in the hospital.

Emman or I will post updates as we find out more. Thank you we are so blessed to have so many praying for us! We covet your prayers and support.

God bless you, Jade

Dad's Second Heart Cath

2009-02-27T18:14:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to tell everyone that Dad's second heart cath went swimmingly and he is back home. He should be back at 100% by next week. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. I am sure glad he is o.k. and that God saw fit for him to hang around here a little longer with us. We love him so much! Appreciate everyone's support during this time.

emman

Dad is Home, BUT...

2009-02-10T20:52:00.003-05:00

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. God has answered with a resounding "YES, I will take care of him." I am so thankful for that answer. He is home and doing o.k. considering he just had a heart attack. However, he does still have one of his three main arteries that is 98% blocked. He goes back the last week of February to have it cleared, another heart cath. Until then, he is under strict orders by the doctor to sit down and watch tv and not do ANYTHING other than rest. Although my dad loves to watch tv, he is a salesman on 100% commission. And this means no working for the next few weeks which translates to no money to pay bills for the next few weeks. Please pray that God will provide for them during this time and that bills will be paid and food on the table. Most importantly obviously, please pray that Dad relaxes so that his heart will hold on until the next surgery. Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and your prayers. You all mean so much. Some have asked for an address to send cards...Mike Burdette, 837 Cliffside Drive, Russell Springs, KY 42642.

emman

Update on Dad

2009-02-09T14:23:00.002-05:00

It seems the bleeding has stopped, thanks for your prayers! More tests need to be run to ensure he is o.k. to be released until he returns to have the other artery cleared in a few weeks. He will probably be released Tuesday morning. Please continue praying. I greatly appreciate all of your support.

emman

Please Pray For My Dad

2009-02-08T22:50:00.002-05:00

I come to you all with a heart heavy with thankfulness and concern. My Dad had a heart attack early Saturday morning (yesterday). He is currently in the cardiac unit in a hospital in Somerset, KY. One of his arteries to his heart was completely blocked by a blood clot. That was removed this morning. Thank God for wisdom of doctors because if not for that, my Dad would not be alive right now. He was told if he had waited two more days to come to the hospital he would not have lived. Another artery is narrowing and will have to be cleared in a few weeks. The surgery today was done with a heart cath which required making a small opening in his leg. This opening has been bleeding all day. The nurses can not get it to stop because of the blood thinners required due to the clot which caused the heart attack. My dad is now medicated due to the pain of the special "pressure dressing" now needed to attempt to stop the bleeding. This is causing him more pain than did the heart attack. Please pray specifically that God would cause this opening to stop bleeding. Pray for my mom, she needs peace and comfort. Pray for my Dad, he needs healing and strength to recover. Thank you all for being there for my family.

emman

Radical Mission's First Annual Warm Souls Christmas

2008-12-25T11:06:00.003-05:00

HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

check out this article from our local newspaper about our Warm Souls Christmas we hosted on Christmas Eve! It was wonderful! God was present with us just as He was that night in the manger 2000 years ago.

Warm Souls Christmas

love you all!

The Birth Story of Savanna Zoe Ioanna Chapman

2008-09-23T14:52:00.005-04:00

OB Estimated Due Date (EDD) based on LMP: 31MAY08

Ultrasound EDD from 05DEC07: 06JUN08

Her story really starts with a book. Debby, Emman’s mother, had been thinking for some time about becoming a doula, especially since they were planning on moving to Clarksville and there is a large military community here and many new mothers giving birth while their husbands are deployed. She had been a military wife during both of her children’s births and had had to do it without her spouse so she understood the need for support of such women. When she found out we were expecting again she told us her desire to be a doula and asked if we would want her to try and finish the course by our due date so she could be a doula for us. We decided that her aspiration was wonderful and she should definitely pursue it, but we were very eager to have Emman coach the birth. She understood and went ahead with pursuing the doula training, but not with the urgency to have it completed by our due date.

Anyway, as Debby completed the required reading list for DONA (Doulas of North America) she read a book called Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. She highly recommended I read it as well. I checked it out from our local library and read through it quickly. I knew that this was the birth experience I wanted. When I came to the end of the book, I read the about the author section on the inside of the back cover. When I read that she was in Summertown, TN I immediately asked Emman to mapquest it. It was only 2 hours away so we called and asked if we could have our baby there.

During this time Debby also recommended The Bradley Method of husband coached natural childbirth since she knew we wanted a natural birth. I looked into classes and the closest instructor I could find was in KY. I keep checking and later found an instructor who had recently moved here to Clarksville! I emailed her immediately and asked about prices, times, etc. Her name is Andrea Eliasson and you can look her up on the Bradley instructor finder. The price was very reasonable and it was the best money we spent on the birth. I am so glad we took it, you will soon hear about how well this method really works. If you are pregnant and want a natural childbirth – FIND A BRADLEY INSTRUCTOR NEAR YOU!

Originally we had planned that Emman’s mother Debby Burdette (Nana) would come to The Farm to watch Caleb during the labor and ensure he was present at the birth so that Emman could focus on coaching me. However, at the end of May Debby called to inform us that her husband Mike had to go to the doctor for a possible staph infection. A week later on 30MAY08 they would have to go to the hospital to have a MRSA infection cleaned out of his knee and they did not know how long they would be there. We made arrangements for another friend from church to come and assist with Caleb if Nana couldn’t make it. Debby was very distraught about it all as she desperately wanted to be there for Mike and also to be at the birth, but we all knew that God had a plan and purpose for all of this and His timing and will would be done. Mike ended up staying in the hospital until 10JUN08 and having 4 surgeries. Debby and I stayed in close contact during this time and keep each other updated on our current statuses.

While I was starting to tire of being pregnant and becoming anxious to meet our new addition, we all preferred Nana be able to assist with Caleb at The Farm and were praying that Savanna Zoe would hold off until she could. Caleb prayed every night for PawPaw to recover quickly so he would feel better and Nana could come. Also, we were having new windows installed on Tue the 10^th and Wed the 11^th and wanted to have that project finished before she arrived. What a thoughtful little girl she turned out to be!

On Wednesday I woke up feeling great and as if Savanna was coming really soon. I cleaned the entire house and did all of the laundry, including towels and bed sheets. I was also loosing the mucous plug bit by bit throughout the day. I called our midwife, Carol Nelson, to inform her about the plug. Debby called in the afternoon to see how things were going and let me know she was ready when we were and Mike was doing well. When I told her how much cleaning I had accomplished she said she would go ahead and come down to our house that evening just in case and she arrived after dinner.

The next morning I awoke at 6AM with fairly regular contractions of 10 minutes apart and lasting about 30-45 seconds each while laying down and 5 minutes apart lasting 1 minute when standing and walking. I stayed in bed until Caleb woke up and then told Emman and Debby. We ate breakfast (except for Emman- who was busy trying start his vacation time from work and to print, fill out and fax in an absentee form for Trevecca on Saturday and fax his take home final to his instructor as well) and everyone showered and got ready for the day. I called Carol and let her know about the contractions. She suggested I drink a big glass of water and then lay down again and see what happened with them. Emman left to have breakfast with his friend, mentor, associate, and accountability partner Pastor Brett Smith. I did as Carol suggested and they spaced back out to 10 minutes apart and 45 seconds long. I called her back and she said if they aren’t going away then they sound like definite labor contractions, but it is still very early and she asked when we thought we would go down. Our plan had always been to leave at the first sign of real labor since second labors usually go faster and we had a 2 hour drive to get there. So I said we would be packing up the last minute things and heading down. Emman came home and finished with what I mentioned above in order to be excused from work at USIS as well as class at Trevecca that Saturday. Emman also called a friend to arrange for Abram and Sarai to be picked up and stay with them while we were gone – they would also be keeping Sarai as their pet when we came back (Sarai has always desired to be the full and ONLY center of attention and a house with another dog and soon to be 2 kids was too much competition for her, so we decided she would be happier in an only pet environment where she could have the attention she craved). Emman then posted the blog that we would be leaving. Debby and I watched Caleb and loaded the van. Caleb “helped” to load the van and pack last minute things as well. We got the van loaded with food for a possible full week stay at the cabin, our last minute clothes, and Caleb’s stuffed animals, sound machine, bedding, and pack-n-play. Emman finished with his tasks about the same time.

Then, as is customary in our family, we posed outside the van for photos before loading up and taking off. On the way we called friends and family. We stopped just once for a potty break for Caleb. Caleb serenaded us pretty much the entire two hour drive with “BINGO”. Only it had many more “B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O, B I N G O” than I remember the original version of the song having, with only an occasional “there was a farmer who had a dog”. My contractions stayed about 10 minutes apart and 45 seconds long the entire trip. I called Carol and let her know we were on our way and she said she would have the cabin unlocked and ready for us and just to call her when we got in (there is a phone in the cabin for local calls to the midwives in order to allow for more privacy for the birthing family as well as quick access to the midwives if needed). We arrived at the cabin around noon so we unpacked, ate lunch, and called Carol almost simultaneously. Carol arrived and checked me while Emman put Caleb down for a nap. I was 1 cm dilated and completely effaced. She suggested a nap and a walk afterwards. Debby and I napped and Emman took on the massive task of filling the large birthing tub. The hot water heater was very small so he could only run the hose for about 10 minutes then had to wait 20 for the tank to refill with hot water, so he boiled water in several pots at the same time and dumped them in as the water got hot, then refilled and boiled again. When everyone, including Caleb woke up we walked (except for Emman- he was still filling the tub- bless his heart!). We went up and down a big steep hill that Carol had suggested and Caleb even walked up it by himself and faster then I could keep up almost! Nana was very thankful that she didn’t have to carry him. On our way back to the cabin from the walk we saw Carol drive by and stopped to talk. My contractions hadn’t changed much and she suggested I try rubbing my belly during contractions and said I should not get discouraged, but try to get some sleep tonight and call her when things picked up. We got back around 6:00 and Nana microwaved one of the thawed casseroles I had frozen for our stay. The microwave was pretty weak as we soon learned and heating dinner took longer than cooking it in the first place! We would heat food in the oven or a skillet from that point on. Emman finished filling the tub. He had made the water extra warm so that it didn’t get too cold since we didn’t know when we would actually be using it. Caleb saw the tub of water and asked, “Where’s the toys? Baby Zoe needs toys to play with in the tub.”

While waiting on dinner I starting rubbing my belly with each contraction. Let me tell you, that works amazingly well! As soon as I started rubbing, the contractions became a LOT stronger. They were now about 5 minutes apart but only 30 seconds long. By the end of dinner I didn’t want to rub anymore because the contractions were becoming very strong and painful. Contractions were now 2 minutes apart and 50 seconds long. I started to try to focus on relaxing through each one like we learned to do in Bradley class, but it was very difficult to concentrate on that with Caleb finishing dinner and getting ready for bed. We promised Caleb that we would wake him up if baby Zoe started to come while he was asleep so that he could watch (we had been preparing him for this and he was very excited about his new sister being born and how it was to happen). Caleb went to bed and I called Carol around 8:00 pm. When she heard my voice during a contraction she said she would be right over.

When Carol arrived she checked me and I was 3 cm dialated. At this point I stopped timing contractions and just tried to focus. I stood holding onto Emman and trying to relax through each contraction while he pushed on my lower back. I was finally feeling like I was starting to get a better focus and be able to relax through them, but I wasn’t quite there. Debby offered to braid my hair in two braids one on each side and I gladly obliged. Emman got me a cool rag for my neck and I sat on the bed while she fixed my hair, I would relax and lean over onto Emman during contractions and she would start braiding again when they ended. I was losing modesty and getting very warm. Once I was able to get focused and relax at the very start of each contraction, the pain went away! That’s right, each contraction felt like a blood pressure cuff being inflated around my belly, but as long as I focused and let my uterus work the way God intended it to and stopped stressing out about it, it didn’t hurt anymore!!! Labor from here on out was great! I was doing so well at relaxing that Carol asked if the contractions were getting easier or if I was just getting better control. Carol even told Debby that I was so relaxed she couldn’t tell where I was at in labor anymore.

It was then suggested that I try a birthing stool as it would put me in more of a squat position. Sitting in the chair did exactly what it was supposed to and the contractions became stronger and harder, it took even more focus to relax through them now. Some time later I tried lying on my side in the Bradley runner position. This was very painful on my lower back and so we switched to Emman sitting behind me and propping me up in an alternate labor position. By this point my legs were starting to shake uncontrollably which jostled my back (I have degenerative disc disease and several torn discs in my lower back) and caused great discomfort. Debby and Carol massaged my legs and Carol remarked excitedly that this must be transition. She wanted to check me since we were not advised to get into the birthing tub until I was 5 cm since the warm water often slows things down. She thought I must be at least 5 by now. It was 10:50 pm and I was 7 cm going on 8. Carol said we could get into the birthing tub and the water temp was perfect. Carol called another midwife, Sharon, to assist in the birth.

Emman and I took turns in the bathroom and then got in. I had one contraction after getting in while Emman was in the bathroom, then one or two more with him holding me up in the birthing tub. I then had a strong urge to push. I told Carol and asked Debby to get Caleb up. Carol asked if I was sure since I was only 7 going on 8 a few minutes ago. I said I was. She started to put on the birthing tub gloves (they come up to their elbows) to check my dialation and Emman reminded me that if I felt that I needed to push to do so as my body knew what to do. I started becoming a little frantic about Caleb being woken up as I knew that he was about to miss it. Debby ran upstairs to get him. I pushed with the next contraction; by this point the urge to push was so strong I could not have resisted if I tried. Carol had one glove on when she turned around and saw the head already crowning and decided that she had 2 choices: put on the other glove or catch the baby. She decided to catch the baby. At the same time Debby comes quickly downstairs with Caleb. I push once more and she is out. Caleb is in shock from being jolted awake and rushed down right as his sister pops out, I am relieved and Emman is nearly at muscle failure from holding me up! It is 11:00 pm exactly. About this time Sharon walks in and is surprised to see a baby! She exclaims that she only lives 5 minutes away and she knows it didn’t take that long to get here. Carol laughs and tells her that it happened so fast she didn’t even get the other glove on! Savanna Zoe is placed on my stomach in the water with a blanket over her and Emman and I hold her and stare at her. My first thoughts are, “wow, that is a lot of hair and some crazy chubby cheeks, but the rest of her is so skinny!” Sharon says there is no way that she is 41 weeks with so much vernix all over her. I then ask if she is a girl and Sharon said that she would be an awfully pretty boy if she wasn’t and everyone confirms that indeed she is a she. I tried to nurse her, but she seemed as exhausted by the whole process as I was and not extremely interested, so I just held her.

We asked Caleb if he wanted to put on his swim trunks and get in the birthing tub and hold her, but he said no. He was still very shocked and not quite awake, also a little concerned about her crying and confused as to why everyone else thought it was fine. Sensing his nervousness about the crying and remembering the many rounds of BINGO just hours before, I told Caleb that he should sing BINGO to her since she would recognize his voice and had listened to him singing it on the way. He began to sing and lo and behold, she quieted down! (This would become his special song to her as he sings it to her any time she cries, most of the time it works, but only when he sings it!) Later Caleb exclaimed, “mommy just went ugh, and out came baby Zoe!” After several minutes, it seemed like at least a half hour, but I am sure it probably wasn’t that long, the placenta still had not come and Savanna Zoe’s blanket was all wet, and I was afraid the placenta wouldn’t come until I could relax and not be concerned about her getting too far under water, and Emman was shaking from muscle fatigue so I confirmed that the cord had stopped pulsing and requested Emman cut the cord, Caleb helped. I handed her to Debby. After I relaxed I felt another urge to push and the placenta finally came. Emman and I stood up to get out of the tub. This is when I apparently passed out.

Debby was kind enough to add in here a piece from her birth experience with Savanna Zoe since my version goes blank for a few moments:

"The most unexpected special blessing for me, was after Emman cut the cord, you handed her to me. It was such an honor to have you look in my eyes, smile & hand your precious newborn to me! I will never forget that moment or the look of trust in your eyes. I don't know that it was something you had thought about or planned. I think it just happened, but I thank you for it. I got to be the first to hold her after you, not a stranger in the hospital, but her very own Nana! I know you were unaware as you were passing out, but I held her and sang to her (and held her down low for Caleb to see) for a very long time as Carol, Sharon & Emman worked with you. There was tension building in the room & much rushing around concerning you. I was very conscious of trying to reassure and comfort her (& Caleb) that her Mommy was okay & that we all loved her very much and that all would be fine now that she was here. I remained calm so she & Caleb would hopefully sense my calm, not the tension in the room. Carol finally came to check her over, weigh & measure her as Sharon went to the kitchen to fix the eggs & toast. (I don't believe Sharon held her at all.) I diapered her (& maybe put a t-shirt on her, or was that later?). Carol wrapped her in fresh blankets and handed her back to me. When Emman was available to leave your side, I handed her to him."

When they weighed and measured her she was a whopping 8 lbs 10 oz and 20.5 inches long! Not the little girl I was expecting!

I woke up moments later on the bed with everyone staring at me! (This happened with Caleb too -passing out after birth- only we assumed that it was because I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink and such was not the case this time as I had been encouraged to eat and drink as I desired.) Sharon made us all scrambled eggs and toast (such a wonderfully different atmosphere than what you find in a hospital- when does the OB fix the whole family eggs after delivery)! I past out several more times in the next 24 hours, they took blood samples, checked my iron, temperature, blood pressure, etc, but everything was normal. I was okay, apparently I am just a postpartum-passer-outer! So that is it! We spent a few days on The Farm to ensure that I was okay and all got a little cabin fever since it was raining most of the time and the cabin was small for 3 adults, a very active 2 ½ year old, and a newborn (we all felt like the Ingall’s family on Little House on the Prairie). It was a beautiful and peaceful place though with deer roaming around the cabin as we watched out of the windows and tried to take pictures!

Overall, this was one of the best experiences of my life! It was invigorating, empowering, encouraging, uplifting, and spiritual. During the Bradley classes as I read about women with “painless” labors, I thought, how can this be. After all hadn’t God commanded that women have pain in child birth due to the original sin? A word study on the passage revealed to me that the Hebrew word we have translated as pain in our Bibles is he same exact word that is later translated as hard work in regards to Adam’s side of the curse. I can say that focusing on relaxing and letting my body do what it is supposed to and what God intended it to do without interfering is hard work, but it wasn’t painful as long as I did these things and let go. This experience has taught me that life is the same. It is a whole lot of hard work to “let go and let God”, but it is often extremely painful when we don’t. I would highly recommend the Bradley method to anyone expecting a baby and would highly recommend The Farm midwives to anyone comfortable with that style of labor. It was exactly the experience I was hoping for! God is good and I feel so blessed for being able to experience the miracle of childbirth like this!

Praise God for His greatness and blessings!

Fillaree Jade Chapman

Please Forgive Us

2008-09-13T00:06:00.003-04:00

Dearest Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends,

We recently posted a blog regarding the controversial issue of abortion. Our intent was to have a loving and honest forum for thoughts and concerns regarding this issue. Unfortunately, this is not what happened. We unintentionally gave birth to a great amount of dissension within our church family as well as our extended brothers, sisters, and friends. Please believe us when I say that this was not our intent and we really feel awful that this is what occurred. To clarify, I want to make a few simple statements regarding what Jade was attempting to say, but was gravely misunderstood.

We do NOT support abortion, NOR would we ever advise this course of action to anyone no matter what the circumstance. We DO support the persons who are going through the decision process of whether or not to abort with love, compassion, and encouragement. We will NOT make the decision for them, NOR will we judge, shun, or withhold grace from someone who has had an abortion because we realize that sometimes people make unChristlike decisions in their lives that seem best to them at the time given their life circumstances whether it is abortion, alcohol, drugs, sex, adultery, stealing, lying to their boss, or insulting a friend (we are/were all guilty sinners undeserved of Christ's grace). We WILL embrace everyone with compassion guided by grace, love, and humility.

We are deeply sorrowed at the direction that this discussion has taken. We are deeply sorrowed at the dissension and anger it has caused within our church family and beyond.

We humbly ask for your forgiveness for all of our part in creating this rift. I hope that each of you will receive and accept our apology. I know that we unintentionally cut deeply into many of you. Again, that was not our intent.

For the sake of unity in our church family and friends, we have deleted the posts and comments from both of our blogs. We pray that this will be accepted as our sign of our understanding of the covenant relationship we have with each of you and that we believe that relationship to be more important than anything else as it is a relationship, a community, bound by, in, and through Christ. We pray that this marks the end of the rift, or at the very least, the beginning of the healing process for the wound of which we were the knife.

We truly love you all!

humbly His, emman and jade chapman

Big Brother Caleb

2008-06-29T20:51:00.005-04:00

Hello all,

We thought we would tell you a cute thing that happened today. I went to church this morning and Jade, Caleb, and Baby Zoe stayed home. Caleb has been very ill over the last week and although he seems to be at 100% again as of today, we did not want to risk spreading what he had to some other poor little unsuspecting children...as someone did to Caleb a week ago.

This past week has been very rough on Caleb and us. He was the sickest he has ever been by far...throwing up for five days and only keeping down Pedialite (most of the time). So that, on top of having a newborn made the week very stressful. We have not let Caleb touch Zoe all week due to his illness and it has been hard for him to stay away from her. He loves his baby sister very much and we constantly had to remind him that he could not touch or hold her.

So this morning...Jade was busy doing something in the kitchen. Zoe was asleep in our bedroom. Caleb was playing (so she thought). She heard Zoe make some noises on the monitor as if she was beginning to wake up. A couple of minutes later she heard some humming sounds coming through the monitor. She went to investigate and found Caleb laying next to Zoe in our bed singing to her. He had heard her begin to wake so he went into our room, climbed up on the bed, laid down next to her, and sang to her so that she would go back to sleep. And back to sleep she went....

God reminds us almost daily of how blessed we are to be Caleb's parents!

Love you all, emman

Introducing....Savanna Zoe Ioanna Chapman

2008-06-16T21:33:00.020-04:00

See her? O.k. maybe you can not see her, but she is in there. Jade has NOT been overeating for the past nine months. Here we are just before we loaded up in the van and left home for The Farm. It is around 10 am and Jade has been feeling mostly consistent contractions since around 6 am.

So, we arrive at The Farm around noon. Mom and I unload while Jade sits around acting like she should take it easy because she is in labor. Ha Ha, Just kidding, actually she helped a lot still. She was not too uncomfortable at this point and she wanted to stay active. So that afternoon, around 4 pm she, Nana, and Caleb decided to take a
walk and find a hill that our midwife, Carol Nelson, had told her about to try to help labor along. And she also ran into Carol during the walk and spent some time chit chatting, during which, Carol gave her another secret labor catalyst idea...rub your uterus during contractions. Who knew?

So while they are out having good conversation and a nice leisurely stroll. Guess who is left back at the cabin working hard trying to get the birthing tub filled with warm water in time for the birth....yep....poor little me. I am at this point figuring out actually why I was brought along on this little Summertown excursion...hard labor (no pun intended). It took around four hours to fill this thing. Whew!

So they all arrived back to the cabin around 6 pm and Jade began diligently rubbing her tummy during contractions. That, along with the good walk up that steep hill got things moving pretty fast. So Jade did what all women in the middle of active labor do ................ she had her hair done.

And, believe it or not, probably within one hour of having her hair done...Whaaalah, she had a baby. So, remember all you pregnant ladies, if you want to have a good, productive, and fairly quick labor...walk up a hill, talk a lot, rub your belly, AND get your hair done!

And now...the pictures for which you have been waiting....

Oops! How did that picture get in here?! Ha! Just thought I would share with you a picture of Baby Zoe's previous home. It is somewhat of a fixer-upper, but she tells us it was mighty warm and cozy.

Here are the good pictures...I think?...

Here we all are...one bigger and HAPPIER family just before we loaded up in the van to leave The Farm and return home.

Hope you enjoyed the pictures AND my little, slightly sarcastic version of the birth story.

Love You All, emman

Back Home!

2008-06-15T21:56:00.003-04:00

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to send out a quick message to let you all know we are home now. And it feels great to be home. The cabin was nice, but a little small for three adults, an energetic two year old and a newborn. I have a new found respect for the Ingalls family on "The Little House on the Prairie."

Some Updates:

Jade is doing a lot better; no fainting since Friday. She went through this after Caleb's birth as well. Just something about giving birth that wipes her body out. Being a guy, I would not know much about that, but I can sure see how the whole process would take everything out of you for a while. Thank you for your prayers! She is really back to normal for the most part. Continue to pray for her while she heals completely from the tearing of some skin caused by Zoe bolting out with three pushes.

Caleb is in love with his baby sister. He is always wanting to see her, hold her, touch her, sing to her. One of his favorite songs is Bingo...you know, "there was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o..." Whenever Baby Zoe (as he calls her) cries or fusses, he starts to sing Bingo, and almost always, she calms down. She recognizes his voice as much as Jade's. Amazing!

Savanna Zoe is great...as long as she gets fed when she wants it. She has some lungs when she wants you to know that you are not moving fast enough to the breast milk. Upon further examination she has dark brown (very dark, just on the brown side of black) hair and dark blueish gray eyes. Her skin is darker in complexion by far than any of us and she has a reddish tint to her face and skin. Now, how in the world did two blond haired and blue eyed (mine are more hazel actually) persons create a tan skinned, brown haired baby?

Answer...Jade, too, was born dark with black hair. Her family has a fair amount of native american genes believe it or not. In fact, Jade is a card carrying (although she lost the card) Cherokee of some sort (I think it is Cherokee, she also has Osage genes). I have a very little native american in me as well. So I guess all those genes got together and decided to create a baby. However, like Jade, we expect Zoe to lighten up and for her hair to turn light brown or blond and her eyes to turn blue before too long. In the meantime, we will probably get asked often if we adopted a native american baby. Either way, she is absolutely beautiful if I do say so myself and I could not have imagined a better father's day gift.

I know you will be upset...but I do not have time to post pictures yet. We will try to do so tomorrow.

I will have Jade post the birth story soon. God was so faithful and Jade was so beautiful throughout the process. I know you will be blessed to read about it.

Love you all and thank you so much for sharing life with us!
God bless, emman

Zoe is here!!

2008-06-13T10:52:00.006-04:00

After 10 hours of labor at "The Farm," Savanna Zoe Ioanna Chapman was born at 11pm on June 12, 2008. Zoe, weighing in at 8 lbs & 10 oz and a length of 20.5 inches, was born with a full head of black hair and has brown eyes. She is EXCELLENT and took to nursing on the first try. She is sleeping well, already!, and she is very alert. Praise God for a healthy baby!!!

Jade is a happy new mommy and doing as well as can be expected. Emman was beaming on the phone, "She made it look so easy!" However, she is wiped out and will be relying on our prayers and the Lord's strength to help her heal and recover quickly. She has been fainting when trying to get up, so please do keep her in your prayers.

They plan to return home on Sunday, or as soon as Jade is ready to travel again.

Specs again:

Savanna Zoe Ioanna Chapman
11pm :: June 12, 2008
8 lbs & 10 oz
20.5 inches
status :: EXCELLENT

Peace <>< :: Nate

On Our Way!

2008-06-12T10:44:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone,

We are loading up the van and will be leaving for The Farm very shortly. Jade is doing well. The contractions are only slightly uncomfortable at this point and around five minutes apart averaging around 45 secs to a minute.

Please pray for a safe delivery and that God will make His presence known during this time. We will post again (most likely through Nathan) as soon as we get a chance after the birth.

Love You All! Pray unceasingly!

emman

He never lets go!

2008-06-08T20:08:00.004-04:00

Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends,

I want to share something with you all that God put on my heart this morning. I was praying for several of you and God spoke into my heart and I feel impressed to share these words with you...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

(Matt Redman, "You Never Let Go")

I know life is chaotic at times and sometimes your whole world seems to be crashing down around you. It seems that everything and everyone is out to get you. There is too much weight on your shoulders and you do not think you will make it much further before you crumble beneath it. You are hurt by those who should not be hurting you. You are frustrated, angry, upset, tired, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

And all you want to know is WHY! Why God, is this happening to me?

I do not have the answer and God may not be ready to give His answer to you. But I am led at this moment to encourage you.

He IS walking with you in the chaos and He IS ready and willing to carry you through it...if only you will let Him. God put it on my heart that some of you need to cry out to Him the words of this song on your knees. Remind yourself of the God you serve and that He truly is an Awesome God.

So click this link... You Never Let Go, bow your head, allow the words to sink into your heart, and listen as God speaks to you.

And remember Romans 8:35, 37-39...

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

There is nothing that can separate you from the love of God. You may have turned your back or strayed away from Him, but He is still there...watching, waiting, and willing to wrap His arms around you again.

If you are fearful and feeling alone it may be because you are not focusing on God. You are focusing on the chaos...the storm. And just as Peter did when he took his eyes off of Jesus, you are sinking in the turbulent waves and allowing the swirling waters to overpower you and your lungs are filling up with water.

Take your eyes off of the storm and Seek out His face again. Reach out to Jesus as a drowning man, knowing he will no longer be able to stay afloat, reaches out one last time with all of his remaining strength and energy toward the one who can pull him out of the water and save his life.

Do this wholeheartedly, and you will find peace again, despite the chaos that surrounds you.

He does not promise to take the chaos away. He does promise to walk with you through the depths of it. So take His hand once again and follow His lead with every step.

I love you all...I am hurting because you are hurting, emman

The Bridegroom

2008-06-02T22:02:00.010-04:00

I have come to the fifth and final essential variable for a healthy and lasting marriage. This element is by far the most important and completely encompasses the first four. Some reading this will not agree with me for reasons you will soon figure out. And I am o.k. with those who disagree. But I lovingly pray that you will reconsider.

I can attest to this variable being one with the ability to powerfully and wonderfully transform your marriage in a way that no other variable is able to accomplish. I have experienced marriage with and without this variable. I can honestly say that had my first marriage truly embraced this variable, it would not have ended.

This essential element is one that, if newly introduced into your marriage, will change you and your spouse so deeply and completely that you may not recognize each other at first. Many of you may already have this variable in your life and will agree with me when I say that this element continues to shape and mold you and your marriage each and every day of your life towards health and complete fulfillment of all a marriage is supposed to be.

If you invite this variable into your marriage, you live as the benefactor of a promise to provide you with the wisdom, strength, and support you need to face the everyday challenges in your marriage. You are never alone with your hurts and despair. You always have a source of hope and love on which to lean, on which you can hold in the moments of frustration and pain.

This variable will not relieve your life of problems. Your days will not always be sunny. Perfection is not attained. But you will never again be alone on those dark days. You will never again have to navigate through the storms of your marriage by yourself.

This final essential variable is...

Christ.

Jesus Christ embodies all of the first four essential elements.

He models and perfects a Commitment that never fails and never gives up. A commitment from God Himself to love you, cherish you, and take care of you throughout your entire life and beyond. He offers the only commitment on which you can always count. The strongest and truest commitment that stands all tests of time and troubles.

He was sent to create an avenue of Communication from us directly to our God. He was sent to us as a divine source of communication for God's message to us. He models for us the way to communicate with love, acceptance, patience, and wisdom. He is God's fleshed out example of going to great lengths in order to communicate unconditional love no matter what the cost.

Christ came to Completely Sacrifice His time, His energy, His heart, and His life so that we could enter into a personal relationship with The Creator of the Universe. He sacrificed his life unselfishly and without regret. He sought only to give all He had in order to love us, despite our inability to love Him just as completely. Though He deserves a perfect unconditional love in return, He does not ask for it. He asks only that we would seek to love Him as much as we are able each and every day of our lives.

Jesus is the essence of Community. He is part of the three in one...Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - the original and perfect community. He was sent by God to establish intimate community between God and humans. He focused His entire ministry on creating relationships/friendships with people...creating a community of unconditional acceptance and love filled with joy, peace, and hope for each new day despite the chaos of life. He promises to never leave us, to always stand by us, and to support us no matter how bad life gets. He will always answer when we call, and He will pick us up and carry us when we fall. He is perfect community.

Jesus Christ will transform your marriage and put it on the road toward all that He exemplifies. When He is the foundation of your marriage, He is the source of support and hope and direction. When you seek to see your spouse through the lens of The Christ, you seek to see him/her as one for whom you would give your life, your time, your energy, and your whole heart without asking for anything in return.

He gives you the humility to put aside your pride and say you are sorry and truly mean it.
He gives you the love you need to offer, whether or not you feel your spouse deserves it.
He gives you the strength to stand when life's doubts/worries/problems attempt to overwhelm your marriage.
He gives you the wisdom to navigate through issues and guide your marriage down a lasting path.
He gives you the hope needed to hang on through the toughest times.
He gives you the faith to hold your marriage together, knowing He will carry you through.

I have a question for those who do not believe me? Have you had Jesus in your life? Your Marriage? Have you ever truly committed your life and marriage to Him?

I have a challenge for you...begin to love and treat your spouse as Jesus loves and treats His church and all those whom He befriends. Model Jesus in your marriage and see what happens. I promise you that your marriage will only get better. Seek to follow the example of Jesus in your life and your marriage will follow suit. Wounds will begin to heal and hurts will begin to fade. Love will begin to overwhelm and hope will begin to overcome.

You will find that The Christ is truly the solid foundation on which you will want to place not only your marriage, but your entire life.

For Jesus Christ is The Bridegroom...the perfect example of true Commitment, Communication, Complete Sacrifice and Community.

John the Baptist said it best...
You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, "I am not the Christ, but, I have been sent ahead of Him. He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. So this joy of mine has been made full. He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:28-30)

So also must it be in a healthy and lasting marriage...He must increase and you must decrease.

God Bless, emman

The Plan

2008-05-29T16:28:00.005-04:00

Many of you will be anxiously anticipating the phone call saying we are headed to The Farm in labor and later the phone call saying mother and baby are doing great and here's the stats. However, since we are going with a non-traditional method of childbirth in the U.S., our cell phone coverage and thus our ability to make those calls is limited. So here is the plan for those of you awaiting the news.

As soon as labor starts we are packing the last minute supplies (everything else is already loaded into the van) and heading to The Farm. We have the cabin for a week, feel very comfortable there, and have a 2 hour drive to get there, so there is no need for us to wait until contractions are 5 minutes apart and 60 seconds long. Once we know it's time, we are taking off! We will call our midwife as we head out the door and let her know our status and that we are coming, then we will call Emman's mother, Debby (or if labor happens in the next several days our friend from church, Joy, as Mike-Emman's father- is recovering from emergency surgery that he had this morning to remove a staph infection from his knee- please pray for both of them as he recovers), to let her know we are going so that she can load up her last minute things and head out the door for her 4 hour drive to The Farm. (Debby/Joy is coming down to watch Caleb. We want him to be a part of the birth as much as he wants to, but don't expect a 2 and 1/2 year old to sit patiently through labor and birth.) We will then call my parents to let them know it's time. Finally, we will call our good friend Nathan to tell him. He will then post a blog on this site on our behalf to let the rest of you know we are on our way to The Farm.

Since there is no cell phone coverage we will not be making any immediate "she's here" calls. Rather, after we have had time to become acquainted with her and everything is running smoothly with everyone, someone will make a trip into town and call Nathan. He will then post another blog on this site letting you all know if she is indeed a Savanna Zoe and her length, weight, date and time of birth and that everyone is doing fine, and/or any prayer requests we might have.

We are not sure how long we will stay after the birth. It may be 2 days or it may be the whole week. After we return and are feeling up to it we will post an update and make calls to people personally.

We just wanted to let you know what we are planning on so that no one becomes concerned if they read that we left and don't hear from us for a few days. Consider no news, good news. If something outside of normal happens we would be sent to the hospital and then we would be in town and could call and let you know there was something wrong. As long as we can't call, we are still on The Farm and everything is going great.

Of course we always appreciate your prayers and believe strongly in the power of prayer. So please pray even now for a smooth, normal, healthy birth. Once you read we are in labor, please pray then too and continue praying for labor, birth, bonding, recovery, and health for us all. Thank you!

God bless,
Jade

No Marriage is an Island

2008-05-28T11:30:00.009-04:00

You may have heard the phrase... "No man is an island." The phrase was written by a Christian, John Donne (1572-1631), in his Meditation XVII in Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions. The entire sentence is...

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

He was speaking to the interconnectedness of mankind to each other. The phrase is commonly used to mean that a person is not meant to be alone.

I would like to submit to you my understanding that just like a man/woman, No marriage is an island. Marriage needs, and will only truly thrive in...

Community - which is my fourth essential variable for a lasting marriage.

What you must come to realize and accept is that no marriage can make it on its own. We need to invite others into our lives. We need the support, encouragement, wisdom, comfort, joy, and strength that comes from sharing life with a community.

Marriage needs community in happy times and in sad times.

Marriage is enhanced and built strong through friends with whom you can laugh, learn, and live life.

Marriage is held together and saved from defeat through friends with whom you can share your hurts and problems and receive support, comfort, and wisdom.

Community is not so hard to do during the good times. However, it is extremely difficult during bad times, which are the times in which community is so very important.

We tend to want to isolate ourselves, close off, and not talk to anyone when things are not so good. We trick ourselves into believing that no one else has problems and others will only judge us and look down on us. This false perception forces us to surround ourselves with thick walls. We deceive ourselves into thinking we do not need anyone and even if we did, there is no one we could trust to help us. And before we know it, our strength and wisdom runs out along with our marriage because we could not do it alone after all.

In actuality, all marriages have problems. If you know of a marriage that has never had a problem then you do not know that marriage as well as you think you do.

Perfect marriages do not exist, but lasting ones do!

Community is important, but the type of community is even more important..."Birds of a feather flock together." You must decide the type of marriage toward which you want to strive, and then surround yourselves with others who are striving toward the same type.

If you commune with couples who lie to each other, cheat on each other, disrespect each other, etc.; then the odds are you will begin to do the same. If you spend time with persons who see marriage as good only to the point that it satisfies their personal needs, then you will probably begin to think the same.

If you commune with couples who seek to love each other unconditionally, respect and care for each other through the good and the bad, and share a devotion and commitment to stay together through thick and thin; then you and your spouse will very likely portray the same.

Do not misread what I am writing. I did not say, "go find a community full of perfect couples that never have problems and never make mistakes." Remember...they do not exist. Just seek out couples who are putting their whole hearts into their marriage, and are seeking to learn from their mistakes so that they may live each new day with a marriage that is stronger and healthier than the day before.

So reach out and invite others into your lives. Your marriage will benefit. Open your hearts to accept Community. Take a chance and trust that Community to help you through the ups AND the downs of your marriage. You will experience comfort, strength, joy, wisdom, and hope that will be a vital part of your marriage and your life...if you are willing to accept it.

God Bless, emman

"I Do" for You

2008-05-10T20:40:00.002-04:00

Before I launch into the next essential variable I would like to express my thanks to all of you who have e-mailed me responses to how these marriage posts have touched you. Your stories and encouragement are amazing and I am so very thankful that God is using these posts to engage you. I pray that these ideas will not be mere subjects of thought, but transforming action that will truly enhance your relationships with your God-given partners for life.

And so we move on to the third essential variable for marriage...

Complete Sacrifice - I thought of using "Selflessness", but it did not start with "C." ;)

Seriously though, selflessness is an abstract concept about which we can spend loads of time contemplating and no time actually acting it out. The word "sacrifice" immediately invokes an urge to do something. Sacrifice requires action...real action, and is not a word one throws around lightly.

Our western culture is not a sacrificial one. Our culture preaches phrases such as...

"look out for number one",
"you gotta make sure you get yours",
"get your fair share", and
"what is in it for me?".

Unfortunately, too often, our marriages are reflections of these mindsets. When you ask people today why they married their spouse you often hear...

"She makes me happy",
"He takes care of me",
"He loves and appreciates me", or
"She respects me for who I am."

Sure, those things are beneficial in a marriage, but those reasons are all focused in one direction... towards the "I" in the "I Do". These phrases say "I Do" for me.

Now lets look at the traditional wedding vows that one says to another at the altar...

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

I do not see a "me" in these vows. These vows say, "I Do" for you. You are not marrying your life partner to be held, to be had, or to be loved and cherished through thick and thin all your life. You are marrying in order to have and to hold your spouse, to love and cherish your spouse no matter what life throws at you all the way to the end of your physical existence.

Unfortunately, many of us say these vows at the altar and then at some point shortly thereafter we find ourselves becoming frustrated because our needs and wants are not being met...we are not getting our fair share in the relationship. It becomes all about me instead of being all about my spouse.

Marriage is not about getting your fair share. Marriage is all about sacrificially giving away all of your share to your spouse. And the giving must be unconditional. You must be willing to give all you have whether or not you are getting all you want. Your spouse will never be able to satisfy you fully. It just is not possible. So it is best if you just toss your expectations aside and focus on pouring your love into your spouse whether or not he/she is acting the way you would prefer each day.

If your commitment is resting on the sandy foundation of satisfying your personal needs/desires....well ...your commitment will sink and crumble when the storms of life hit your marriage.

And if your marriage does withstand some storms, it will not be a healthy one. Marriages filled with expectations and conditions put upon spouses become diseased with bitterness, mistrust, frustration, anger, and unforgiveness.

Trust me...no one experiences clear and sunny skies every day of their life. As we discussed in the Commitment variable, marriage is not a romantic, happy-go-lucky, rosy life each and every day. There will be great times, but there will also be times during which you do not feel like he is taking care of you, you will not feel like she respects you, you will not feel loved and appreciated by him, and neither one of you will be very happy with the other. You should not count on your spouse's thoughts and actions meeting your expectations. The only thoughts and actions on which you should be able to count are your own.

So the commitment to marry needs to be built on the rock of complete sacrifice for your spouse. This is fleshed out in all facets of your life together. Whether it be major issues such as careers and where you live or small ones such as where you go out for dinner and where the pictures should be hung on your walls.

A marriage should be built on a husband loving his wife and giving all he has to offer to her for the sole purpose of loving and caring for her because he wants nothing more than to sacrifice his life for her.

A wife should marry a husband for the sole purpose of offering her whole self to her husband in order to care for him and love him because she wants nothing more than to sacrifice her being for him.

And I will tell you a little secret....

If both spouses are completely sacrificing with no conditions attached...both of you will be getting MUCH more than your fair share. You will be blessed with a spouse who loves and cares for you more than you ever thought possible and you will want nothing less than to strive to sacrifice even more in return. And that cycle of complete sacrifice becomes a blessing of love, acceptance, grace, security, peace, and joy that will be a rock hard foundation on which your marriage will stand no matter the force of the storms of life.

So put aside your wants and needs,
and focus on your spouse's needs and wants.
Revisit the marriage altar each and every day,
and remember to look at your spouse and say,

"I Do" all that I do,
not for myself,
but solely for You.

God bless, emman

More about The Farm

2008-05-09T15:43:00.011-04:00

I have had many questions about the safety of a birth center versus the hospital and many questions about The Farm in general. So hopefully this blog will answer some of those questions and give you immediate links to do some more research for yourself if you so desire.

First some pictures from our last visit:

Myself, Carol (the midwife who will attend Savanna Zoe's birth), and Caleb:

We bring a lunch and picnic at The Farm or at one of the lookout sights along Natchez Trace Parkway. Last time we had our picnic in front of the birth center.

Caleb enjoys our trips immensely. He is highly entertained by the outdoors. In these pics he found a Caterpillar to play with:

Then a puppy:

Inside the Clinic:

Caleb got to use an old style fetalscope to listen to the baby:

Us walking to the cabin we will be staying in:

The Cabin:

Now for the info on safety:

I have done a lot of reading this pregnancy. I was surprised to learn that midwives have lower maternal and infant mortality rates than hospitals.

For a normal, healthy pregnancy, without complication- which is by far the overwhelming majority in the US, there is no need for any type of medical intervention. Our society has taught us through the media that birth is a traumatic, dangerous, and even unnatural experience that should be treated as an illness. This is simply not true. God designed the female body to have babies. It is one of the many things we are perfectly equipped to do. Yes, in the distant past women died during birth at home. This was largely in part to poor prenatal health and unclean delivery practices. Since education on prenatal health and sanitation has increased, maternal and infant mortality has decreased. However, the US still has the 2nd highest infant and maternal mortality rates of all industrialized nations; not to mention an outrageously high C-Section rate.

Hospitals and OBs are needed for complicated pregnancies and the few times when birth requires emergency care. Even in normal pregnancy, a woman CAN have a completely natural, unmedicated, uninterfered with childbirth in a hospital, but this is rare due to the way hospital and OBs operate. One medical intervention almost always leads to another and another ending in some form of forced delivery. I experienced this for myself with my first birth.

No drug has been proven safe for an unborn baby. Did you know that the street drug LSD was created when scientists were trying to synthesize Oxytocin (Pitocin is synthesized Oxytocin)? Read the Pitocin Fact article to learn about the hazards this drug poses to women and babies. Epidurals have their own risks as well. They can lead to a drop in infant heart rate and thus a forced delivery. They also cause maternal fever in some cases and this results in c-section and a round of unnecessary and potentially harmful antibiotics for the baby once it is born. These drugs can be beneficial in true emergency situations, but are used much more frequently than they should be.

Tearing of the perineum is less likely to happen with a midwife because they are less likely to use drugs to induce the labor process and because they are more likely to allow the woman to labor and birth in a position(s) other than flat on her back like in a hospital. Midwives also frequently use massage techniques to soften and prepare this tissue for birth so that tearing happens less often. Oh, and one can't forget that forceps delivery almost always results in at least a 2nd degree tear.

Lying on your back is the worst possible position to have a baby in. It makes contractions less effective which means labor is longer. It cuts off oxygen to the unborn baby. And gravitationally speaking it makes no sense, the tail bone ends up in the way of the baby coming out of the birth canal. Also, it does not allow for the pelvic bones to spread as effectively, making labor more painful and difficult. Lastly, on the back does not allow the baby's head to put as much gradual pressure on the perineum as squatting, sitting, standing, or walking. This gradual pressure will help the tissues to stretch slowly and avoid tearing.

The Farm's statistics are posted on their site and their statistics have been researched in other studies as well. Check out this article.

Another good article is one on the 6 myths of childbirth.

I decided that having a natural birth would be extremely unlikely for me in the hospital here in town and therefore chose to see a midwife in order to increase my likelihood of success in this endeavor (the midwives at The Farm are world renown and extremely well experienced). Laboring here at the local hospital would mean no food or drink, immediate and continuous hook-up to an IV line (I hate needles, especially IVs, and this greatly limits one's ability to move around and change position during labor), constant fetal monitoring and after the water broke or was broken by force internal fetal monitoring, I would have to labor and deliver on my back after 5 cm (not very far along), and if I did not dialate at least 1 cm in any 2 hour period of time I would be given Pitocin to speed things up. Then the baby is taken from our room and put in a nursery for a few hours each day to make it easier for the nurses to do all the infant check ups at one time.

These are practices that we are not comfortable with and that after much research we have learned are actually more harmful to the progress of labor and delivery, the mother, and the infant when the pregnancy is normal and healthy. Dr. Bradley is a believer in hospital births due to the slight risk of complication, but he favors only those hospitals/OBs that operate in an observation fashion and allow the parents to birth unmedicated and without intervention unless absolutely necessary.

The Bradley method teaches about consumerism. You will get the product you buy. If you go to a hospital with high epidural, pitocin, c-section, forcep, vacuum rates, then you will mostly likely get pitocin, an epidural, and ultimately a forcep/vacuum/or c-section delivery. We are in no way saying that hospital birth is wrong or that it can never be a truly natural birth, so please do not be offended if you had your baby in the hospital. Caleb was born in a hospital. However, if you are pregnant I would urge you to do your research on different birthing locations, ask your providers the tough questions (a list of questions for each type of provider is included in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth -probably available at your local library) and take Bradley classes- they are beneficial where ever you chose to give birth. Then, after being well informed on all of your choices, decide what is best for you. We have chosen to do what we feel, after much research and education, is the best for us and our baby.

If you are still interested in doing some more reading I would recommend the following books:
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin (Head midwife at The Farm)
Mothering Magazine's Having a Baby, Naturally
Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way

I haven't given birth naturally yet to give you my comparison, but I will be sure to post a blog letting you know how it went afterward (though it may take a few weeks while we all get settled into a larger family).

God bless,
Jade

Do not settle for a roommate!

2008-05-05T20:12:00.008-04:00

O.k., now that you all have had a few days to chew on the Commitment variable I would like to go into the second essential variable...

Communication: "another obvious one" you say. Well, when was the last time you actually sat down with your spouse and intently talked about something other than what's for dinner or the to-do list around the house? When I say communication I am not talking about the constant stream of verbal interaction that occurs throughout your day with or without your mind and heart being engaged. The "how was your day", "when are you going to mow the lawn", "by the way I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow", "baby spit up today", etc. is not the communication about which I am speaking.

I am talking about quality communication. This is so important, yet so under-experienced. Jade and I can go weeks without actually communicating anything of worth to each other if we are not careful. I mean...it is easy to find yourself so caught up in the day to day that you forget about your God given partner in life actually needing some quality company. Before you know it, you wake up one morning and begin to feel like all you have is a roommate that shares the same goals as you, a teammate with whom you share daily duties.

Of course, a spouse should be those things....but a spouse is so much more. A spouse is an intimate part of every thought and every feeling you have. The presence of your spouse should not be mere relief of sharing your daily duties, but a joy and peace and feeling of oneness that soothes your soul. If you are losing intimacy with your spouse, then you are not communicating.

Make sure you make time for you and your spouse to love each other with devoted, focused time talking about your days, your thoughts about how life is going, your challenges, your dreams, your fears, your goals, your dreams, your nightmares, and everything that is you and your spouse. You need time to laugh together, cry together, and hold each other. This is not as easy as it should be.

If you do not do this consistently...when the valleys in your life and relationship come (and they will come), it will be harder for you to communicate through them because you lost the intimacy through lack of communication through the good times. This is where the rubber meets the road.

Lack of communication leads to one wondering what the other thinks, doubting the other will agree, and mistrusting the other's willingness to get involved and devotion to the marriage. When all along, both are guilty of allowing these negative feelings to grow in the silence. When problems come...communication becomes less than before and the issues are then harder to solve because you first have to relearn how to talk to one another honestly and lovingly and open up to each other without fear.

Jade and I started scheduling date nights last December. The busyness of life is too much. If we do not schedule these in they will not happen. We actually have my mom come in town and stay all evening and all night with Caleb. We go out to dinner and then rent a motel room. We spend the entire evening and night just the two of us, focused on each other and our relationship. We talk, play board games, etc. We focus on interactive activities. We do not go to movies because that is not interactive. Do not waste a date night with activities that do not require you to engage each other emotionally, mentally, and physically.

So, there you have it...Communication. Think about it. Do you really communicate with your spouse or are you just getting by with a few daily, monotonous, overly used and rehearsed lines? If not, or if rarely, intentionally carve out some time soon and begin to get to know your spouse again...rather than just hanging out with your roommate.

God bless you all,
emman

Caleb

2008-05-05T15:41:00.008-04:00

I just wanted to take a moment to tell everyone about what a blessing Caleb is to us! God has given him a heart devoted to Christ and this is so exciting to us. On Sunday, March 2nd, Caleb and Emman were going through the normal bedtime routine of reading the Bible. They were reading the story of the woman at the well (John 4). When Emman read to Caleb the part where Jesus says, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water... Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life," Caleb told Emman that he wanted living water. Emman explained what this meant and told Caleb that all he had to do was ask Jesus to come and live in his heart. He asked Caleb if he wanted to do that and Caleb said yes. So kneeling beside Caleb's toddler bed, Emman lead Caleb in a simplified version of the sinner's prayer!

I know that many of you are now thinking, "Oh, that is sweet, but it doesn't really mean anything." I understand your thoughts, I had them too when Caleb came out of his room that night and announced what had just happened. Afterall, he is not quite 2 years and 3 months old how could he really understand God, Jesus, and salvation. But the Lord has humbled me since then and reminded me of some very important passages in the Bible:

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.
Mark 10:13-16

People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
Luke 18:15-17

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.
Matthew 18:1-6

He has once again shown me that His ways are not my own and are beyond my understanding. He has reminded me that these things are not mine to judge, but His, only He can see the heart. He has once again removed the scales from my eyes and shown me that He CAN NOT and WILL NOT fit into any box I try to put Him in. Who am I to say what one so young can comprehend about the One that is so big and great, that when I am honest I must admit, that I cannot fully comprehend myself. Perhaps it is even true that the younger we are, and less corrupted in our minds by the thoughts of this world that seek to disprove its creator, the better we are able to understand and comprehend God.

So whether you are convinced or not, I must say that I truly believe that God honored Caleb's prayer and that He does live in his heart. Since that day Caleb has talked about Jesus constantly, has told others about Him, and has started praying on his own for anything and everything. He will quickly tell you that Jesus lives in his heart and that he wants to go to heaven. When we were ordering our microwave at Home Depot he looked at the appliance associate and told him that Jesus was The Life. He has proudly announced in all manner of public places that Jesus is alive and lives in our hearts. The other day we gave him a Lego Bob the Builder truck that we bought with our Pampers gift to grow points and he walked down the hall with it and I heard him say, completely unprompted, "Dear God thank you for my new toy, it is the best!" He wakes up in the morning and exclaims, "God gave us a beautiful day!" He recognizes that EVERYTHING comes from God. He thanks God for every little thing he has. Oh, that I could have a heart that was so thankful and understanding of God's absolute provision and our absolute dependence.

On a cute note...Caleb was able to feel Savanna Zoe move in my belly for the first time the other night. He exclaimed excitedly, "she is kicking!" Then the next day during nap story time he said he wanted to tell his stuffed cookie monster about Jesus rather than read books. I said okay and he climbed into the rocking chair and sat there by himself and began to tell cookie monster that Jesus lives in our hearts and that heaven is a nice place and he wants to go there. He then said as he lifted his shirt, "Jesus lives in Caleb's heart; do you want to feel him kick?" I smiled and explained that Jesus doesn't live in our hearts the same way that Savanna Zoe lives in mommy's belly. Children are soo cute!

God bless you all,
Jade

Till Death Do Us Part......Really!

2008-04-30T22:03:00.007-04:00

Jade and I celebrated our 7th anniversary on 30 March this year. I have been thinking a lot about our marriage and marriage in general over the last couple of months. I have been meditating on what holds our marriage together. As some of you know, and many of you do not, I have been divorced. This is not something I often broadcast across the airwaves so this fact has only been known by my family and some of my closest friends...until now. I mention it now because I am about to launch you into my thoughts in the next couple of posts. I want you to know that these nice thoughts, epiphanies, good ideas, or idiotic conclusions (however you look at them) are coming from someone who is imperfect, who has made huge mistakes in marriage, who has learned hard and painful lessons, and who does not want others to endure the same regret, guilt, and heartache by making similar mistakes. Some of these may be familiar ideas, some may not...so here I go...

The way I see it, there are a few things that are essential to a lasting marriage. Notice I did not say happy, perfect, great, blah, blah, blah. Marriage is not always happy, it is never perfect, and definitely not completely great. But marriage can be a blessing to which nothing else compares. I know mine is.

The first essential variable is (these are not in order of importance by the way)...

Commitment: Seems obvious, I know, but this is so obvious that so many forget all about it. So many people I talk to who are going through problems in their marriage lack this very thing. I hear all the time...I am not happy anymore...I am not sure I love him/her anymore...I just do not feel the same as I used to...he/she is a different person than who I married...he/she has this problem and I can not handle it, etc, etc, etc. All statements coming from a want to always feel in love, always be happy with the situation, always feeling connected, and for life to always be rosy. Marriage is not based on happiness, lovey dovey feelings, or rosiness.

All of us know that life is not always that way so why should marriage, which is two lives becoming one, be any different. Commitment is SO important. When you say "I do" that means no matter what I am committed to you, no matter if you change, no matter if you aggravate me, no matter if you make mistakes, no matter if I do not always feel in love with you, no matter if you say mean things, no matter if you agree with me, no matter what...I am committed to you for the rest of our lives. Marriage is not about love and happiness, it is about commitment on sunny days as well as the gloomy days.

And if you are truly committed, you will find that the gloomy days are a lot sunnier than you thought. True commitment drowns out the complaining, the anger, the frustration, the bitterness, and the unforgiveness. True commitment says I know there are going to be hard times and I know that we are not always going to get along and that is O.K.! True commitment pushes a couple to work through their issues, to come to each other in confession, and it paves the way for forgiveness.

Commitment does this because their is no room for the "D" word (divorce). It is not an option, it does not exist in the vocabulary of a truly committed couple. Therefore, resolution is the only goal on the horizon and it will be reached because both are committed to reaching that goal no matter what the cost. Failure is not an option because that goes against the nature of commitment. When commitment is one of the founding factors in a marriage, the words "till death do us part" are not just an ideal, abstract, fuzzy feeling at the altar. Commitment says, "till death do us part...Really!"

I have at least four (the list keeps growing) more essential variables to share...I will do so one at a time because I know I can be wordy and you will not want to sit and read a blog for 45 minutes. So I will let this one sit on you a little while and then hit you with another. Please let me know what you think, if you do think anything, about my thoughts. I am open for thoughts, opinions, etc. I am trying to be blunt and to the point so some of the depth may be lost in my brevity...sorry.

I love you all!

humbly His,
emman

Update on Va and The Farm

2008-04-28T15:17:00.003-04:00

Exciting news! Thank you all for your prayers! I just received word today that VA will allow me to change my provider to Carol at The Farm. I will go this afternoon or tomorrow to pick up medical records from the OB and will be going to The Farm on Wednesday for a regular prenatal. It is a huge relief to know that at least part of the cost will be covered. God is good!

On a side note, for those who are interested but do not attend our church and so would not have read the ad in the bulletin, friends from church will be hosting a baby shower for us at our home (we live near the church) on May 17th at 6:00PM, it is a family event and drop ins are welcome.

Consequently, we have registered at Target and Toys 'R' Us under Jade Chapman. We certainly do not expect everyone to buy us stuff, but since many have asked, this is the easiest way to put out info on what we still need for those who would really like to get something. Many of the items we need are listed on both registries. I will try to stay up to date on what has been purchased and remove it from the other registry if it was bought from one. If you have any questions you can always email.

Also, the due date that the midwife is going with is June 6. Of course, Savanna Zoe will come when she is ready, but she can be expected sometime around then!

We love you all and appreciate the immense gifts and blessings you have poured out on us in your support, prayers, and sharing of our lives! These gifts and blessings are truly the most wonderful kind.

God bless,
Jade

Savanna Zoe Ioanna Chapman

2008-04-21T16:32:00.004-04:00

After much deliberation we have decided on the name! Savanna Zoe will be her first name. Yes that is correct, two first names written separately, but considered one name like Mary Beth. Her given nickname would then be Zoe. Savanna is a name Emman picked out for his daughter even before we met. We involved Caleb in the choosing process and his favorite name was Zoe. Zoe is Greek for "life". Her middle name will be Ioanna (pronounced ee-o-ahn-na). This is the Greek name that appears in Luke 8:3 and 24:10. Our English Bibles have used the Latin form of the name, being Joanna. The name is a Greek translation of the Hebrew name Yehohanan which means "God is gracious".

We feel that God has graciously blessed us with the wonderful surprise of a baby girl in addition to our first blessing of a beautiful, brilliant, bouncy, baby boy - Caleb! Ioanna was one of three women mentioned by name as following Jesus with the disciples from village to village and supporting His ministry from their own means (Luke 8). Ioanna is also one of the three women who went to the tomb with spices and were the first to hear from the angels that Jesus had risen and to report the news to the apostles (Luke 24)! What a blessing to walk with and support Jesus and then to be among the first to hear the wonderful news of Jesus' resurrection! We pray that Savanna Zoe Ioanna would learn early on of Jesus' resurrection and what that means for her and that she too would walk with and support Jesus all her life.

We are taking Bradley natural childbirth classes this pregnancy and that is going well. We were able to find an instructor in Clarksville, which was a huge blessing with gas prices on the rise. In order to better facilitate a natural birth we have decided to have Zoe at The Farm Midwifery Center in Summertown, TN. It is about 1 hour and 50 minutes from here. We are not sure yet if VA will pay for this or not. We have been waiting for an answer for almost a month now. Please pray that those who make this decision would support our choice of a midwife birth and come to this decision quickly.

Regardless, we feel that this is the best choice for our family and will have the baby there as long as no unforeseen circumstances arise preventing it. This gives us the option for a water birth and would allow Caleb to be a part of the birth as well. The midwives there are world renown and very respected in the medical community, even Vanderbilt.

Please continue to pray for a healthy pregnancy and birth. Also pray for a smooth transition for Caleb into a world no longer centered around him. So far he is very excited about baby Zoe, hopefully this will continue once she gets here! I am certain he will be a wonderful big brother, but I pray the initial shock of a new sibling will be brief.

God bless you all,
Jade

We Moved!

2008-03-20T22:42:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone....

Just a quick note to let you know our new contact info...

2281 Sentinel Drive
Clarksville, TN 37043

hm 931-802-8501
fax 931-802-8503
cells are the same

Will post photos of new house soon. Really swamped right now with moving, church, work, family, etc. Please pray that our old house sells soon. Thanks!

Love you all!

Emman, Jade, Caleb, and Savanna Zoe

Its a ....

2007-12-27T21:16:00.000-05:00

I do not think she will appreciate that we put this photo on the internet!

I think she looks just like her mother...don't you!!!
:-)

Name coming soon...

The Littlest Chapman

2007-12-08T13:43:00.000-05:00

This one is gonna be a looker as you can see!

Close-Up!

Gonna have a strong Grip!

Relaxing and Smiling for the Picture!
The bright dot in the middle of the chest is the Heart...pumping along nicely!

So in case you need clarification...Jade is Pregnant! The due date according to the Ultrasound is 6 June 2008 (the due date by cycle is 31 May 2008). We go to the OB on 24 December 2007 for another Ultrasound. We will hopefully find out the gender! Please keep us in your prayers...Jade's health, the baby's health, understanding and excitement for Caleb, and my patience and sanity through it all.

On a side note, I start a Masters of Counseling program at Trevecca Nazarene University on 5 January 2008. I am very excited, but nervous at the same time. My classes will be taken all day on Saturdays for the next three to four years. It will be a long haul, but in the end I will be a Licensed Professional Counselor and able to officially begin answering God's Call to spend my life ministering to hurting people through counseling. Please pray for wisdom, endurance, and grace.

We will post more info on "the littlest Chapman" as we go along.

Happy Holidays.......

Ha Ha....just kidding...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

May the Grace and Community of Christ embrace you all,
emman

Pictures, Movies, and More Pictures!

2007-08-11T16:26:00.001-04:00

No, That is Not a Rash, It's the Remnants of a Whole Container of Strawberries!
Really Happy about wearing Daddy's "Safari Jim" Hat

Fun With Balloons!

Where is Caleb?

Working Out in the Pool

Yes! I have done it! I am not sure what it is that I have done, but I have done it!

I'm an Excellent Driver

Kiss My Feet Daddy!

Man, he is Too Cute when he is Sleeping

Practicing for the Elephant Rodeo

Mommy and Caleb

Playing PawPaw's Guitar

Feeding Mommy Blueberry Muffins

Covering Up!

Caleb and GG at her 80th Birthday Party
(I believe she is the oldest and he is the youngest in the family)

Hi-Yo Silver!

By the Pool

Hugging Abram

Hugging Sarai

Emman at Vacation Bible School

Jade at Vacation Bible School

Anybody up for a Picnic?

Yogurt Paint...Mmmmm!

EXCITED about Blueberry Muffins!!!!

Chapman Update

2007-08-11T13:39:00.000-04:00

I realized that it has been quite a while since I put an update on the blog as to how we are doing...so here it goes.

We are well! The big picture is still the same...I am still working with USIS three days a week and volunteering two days for Radical Mission at the church (I long for a way to spend less time at USIS and more time with Radical Mission). Jade is still being an awesome mom at home each day. Caleb is developing exponentially with each new day.

Here are some brush strokes within the picture...

Me -

I am quite busy to say the least. Radical Mission is pressing forward and God continues to open up opportunities to love on people.

We are advertising our Hope Pantry (food) throughout Clarksville which serves those who are not able to afford food. We have many volunteers who God has led to assist in this ministry. I am excited to see where God takes this.

Celebrate Recovery for those with hurts, hang-ups, and habits (which is everyone if we are honest about it) is moving along swimmingly. God is impacting and transforming lives through this experience.

Radical Mission's relationship with the Clarksville Day Shelter continues to be fruitful. We helped to facilitate a yard sale which raised over $1200 which all goes to the Day Shelter to be used to help the homeless in Clarksville.

Radical Mission is in the beginning stages of a relationship with Ryan's Hope Ministries which focuses on ministering to the HIV positive population in Clarksville (around 230 people). We are excited to see this new relationship grow.

There are many more ways in which Radical Mission is truly embracing people each and every day. I just do not have the space to tell you about all of it. I am truly blessed to be able to be a part of God sharing His love. I am so thankful that God brought our family back to Clarksville.

I am serving on our church's board of directors (ministry vision team) as well as the Radical Mission board of directors (mentor-leader team). I am amazed and humbled at these opportunities. Please pray that God gives me the wisdom, discernment, compassion, and humility I need to contribute what He would have me to contribute in these roles.

I am currently beginning the application process to hopefully begin a masters program in counseling at Trevecca Nazarene University in Nashville this January or the following summer. Please pray for guidance in this new step. I am not sure where the time or the money will come from in order to pull this off. But I know that God is leading me in this direction and He will go before me and provide what we need along the way.

Caleb -
What a blessing! He is learning at light speeds right now. He is a wonderful helper. He helps unload the dishwasher, set the table for meals, clean-up the house, helps fold laundry (or maybe I should say unfold laundry), puts laundry away, he is potty training now, he feeds the dogs, and many more things which Jade will tell you in a moment. He is just such a happy, good natured (most of the time) kid. I know that God is creating a miracle before our eyes. He lights up my world each and every day. We are truly blessed to be his parents.

Here is Jade's input...Caleb's vocabulary is exploding! He speaks in sentences, sings along to his Boz CD and DVD and also with his Kids Bible songs CDs. He runs everywhere and super active, which provides me lots of exercise each day! He enjoys the indoor pool at the YMCA and is getting comfortable enough in the water to splash around without me holding on to him (he is in an inner tube swimsuit). He loves playing with the dogs and gives them hugs all of the time (they love it too and are so good with him). He is obsessed with balloons. Fortunately, God has provided him with one after another all summer long pretty much! In short, he is unbelievably cute, smart, cuddly, adorable, and absolutely wonderful (just like his Daddy)! I could not ask for a better kid!

Jade - I am pretty busy myself. There is definitely no reason to be bored as an at home mommy! I try to get Caleb to the pool and library at least one time a week each, then there is grocery shopping, household maintenance, and church!

I am still the nursery director so that keeps me busy playing with and showing God's love to toddlers, infants, and volunteers all Sunday morning.

Now that we have completed the discipleship program at church I have Wednesday evening free to work with the Youth! I am super excited about this as my heart in ministry has always been for the high schoolers due to my own testimony of salvation! Please pray for God to open the doors to their hearts that I might be able to show them God's love.

I was also elected to be on the church Sunday School board. Please pray that my heart would be open to God's purpose for me here and that I would be His willing disciple and ambassador to this ministry.

Now you can consider yourself updated!

As you can see, God is a wonderful artist. He is painting this beautiful picture which we call our life. Some parts of our picture are colored darker and some parts lighter. But with each and every brush stroke, God adds love and grace, which makes each and every color rich with His Glory.

Thank you all for being colors in the brush strokes of our life and for inviting us to be part of your pictures of life.

Boxed In!!!

2007-08-10T20:30:00.000-04:00

We live in a secular world in which we are defined by, and act according to, the title we carry, the position we hold, the category into which we fall, or the group with which we associate.

If you are a doctor...you act healthy whether or not you are truly sick and diseased. If you are a janitor...you act as though cleanliness matters to you whether or not you are actually filthy.

If you are a general in the military...you act powerful and full of courage whether or not you are truly weak and full of fear (no offense intended here Doug, just a good illustration - you are definitely outside the box). If you are a private in the military...you tend to act indecisive and irresponsible whether or not you are truly quick minded and able to lead an army.

If you are rich monetarily...you tend to act as though you are better than everyone else whether or not you have any true wealth. If you are poor monetarily...you tend to act as though you are less than others whether or not you are truly rich.

Doctors and janitors, generals and privates, rich and poor - acting according to the pre-set rules, traditions, stereotypes, opinions, and assumptions that go along with their title, category, position, or group. Acting according to their box!

Intentionally or Unintentionally, we slowly succumb to the rules, traditions, stereotypes, opinions, and assumptions...the box. We begin to act like the box according to which we are treated. We lose our own identity to the box. We lose our freedom to the box.

Suddenly our lives become all about the box and everything in the box. Nothing outside the box matters. Nothing outside the box is as worthy as what is inside the box. Everyone outside the box is wrong, but all of us inside the box are most always right. If you do not fit inside my box...I will tell you what you need to change in order to fit. If you do not want to follow the guidelines of my box...well...you must not be worthy enough to be in the box.

And then one day, usually without thinking about what we are doing...we close the lid of the box so that no one outside the box can get inside the box...and we lose ourselves in the darkness.

And before we know it...we are no longer anything...but the box.

We are boxed in!

Unfortunately, the world of Christianity follows suit. Other religions may follow suit as well, but I can only speak to Christianity with any smidgen of experienced wisdom. Christians' actions, thoughts, and beliefs are developed and defined based upon their chosen box of Christianity. Some examples of Christian boxes are baptists, nazarenes, methodists, pentecostals, presbyterians, non-denominational (although they pretend NOT to be a box), church of Christ, and many MANY more.

Then there are boxes within each box such as independent baptists, free will baptists, and southern baptists, presbyterian church of america, presbyterian church of the united states of america, and orthodox presbyterian church.

Then we have different titles for those within the denominations depending on your category or sub-category...reverends, pastors, brothers, sisters, priests, bishops, apostles, deacons, elders, lay persons, etc.

We have all allied ourselves with categories, sub-categories, and titles. Each of these titles define us. Each of these categories bring with them doctrines, beliefs, and traditions which shape us into who we are and who we are becoming. And we are treated by others according to that box.

And if we are not careful...if we do not stay focused on the one unquestionable, undeniable, indisputable, absolute Truth...we begin to focus more on our own boxes; the rules of our boxes, the traditions of our boxes, and the opinions, interpretations, doctrines, and theologies of our boxes.

And before we know it...We Have Boxed Ourselves In! Shut off from everything outside of our box. Who are we? I am a baptist, boxed in from anything methodist. I am a presbyterian, boxed in from anything nazarene. I am a pentecostal, boxed in from anything church of Christ.

Then we have box wars. We should accurately called them family feuds (think about it). Each box tells mean jokes about the other boxes. My box strives to have more people in it than your box. My box's traditions are more important than your box's traditions. My box's theology is obviously correct, while your box's theology is so far off you just might need some extra grace to get into Heaven. And the ultimate...My box is going to Heaven, but your box is on its way to hell.

And satan smiles...from ear to ear!! Mission accomplished!!

Reggie McNeal says in his book, The Present Future, that the church is obsessed "with internal theological-methodological debates designed to determine who the true believers are while the world is headed to hell in a handbasket."

We get so caught up in whose box is the best box that we forgot that the ONLY Truth that actually matters is that Jesus Christ came to earth in the flesh and died as the final sacrifice for the sins of whosoever (no matter what box you come from) believes in Him and accepts Him as their personal Savior.

And that has nothing to do with boxes!

I must admit something to you. I have been a part of several different boxes in my journey with God...methodist, baptist, non-denominational, presbyterian, nazarene, vineyard, etc. And I am guilty of succumbing to some of those boxes in the way I have described above.

I have spent a good portion of my Christian walk focusing on the box in which I found myself instead of the sacrifice of Jesus which tears open all boxes.

I am not so naive to believe that one day (before Jesus returns), we Christians will break down our boxes and come together as truly One Body of Christ. Humans have something that will always cause division and separation...pride.

We have our own opinions, our own ways of doing things. We have our own insatiable need to feel and think and prove that we are the right ones and those others who have different opinions and different ways of doing things are without question, the wrong ones.

I leave you with a few final bites of food for thought...

When you get to heaven...

Will those who were sprinkled be in a worship section further from God than those who were dunked?
And what about those who were neither dunked nor sprinkled? Do you really think that God might only allow them to hang out in an adjacent room or leave them standing at the pearly gates?
Do you really think that those who believed in the absolute free will of man will be allowed to sing more praises to God than the ones who believed in the absolute sovereignty of God?
Do you really think that those who lived an entirely sanctified life on earth will be able to feel the presence of God in Heaven more so than those who did not?
What about those who believed that the Bible is a bunch of divinely inspired stories vs. those who hung on every word of scripture as inerrant? Which will get more solos in the choruses of Heaven?

Are any of these things really going to matter when you get to heaven?

Will there be boxes in Heaven? And if not...why should we have boxes here on earth?

Now I must say this...boxes are not inherently evil. I am not saying that we should have no doctrine. Structure and organization are good and when used properly...it ties us together and facilitates our relationships and communities as Christians.

BUT...the name of your denomination will not save you...

"...let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead--by this name this man stands here before you in good health. He is the Stone which was rejected by you, the builders, but which became the Chief Corner Stone. And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved."
Acts 4:10-12

For those of you who are not Christians (if you have read this far), I pray that you have not been misled by the boxes that we humans have created...for Jesus Christ came to break down all boxes.
For my brothers and sisters who are new to the Christian faith, I pray that you never succumb to the darkness of a box.
For my brothers and sisters who are like I once was...boxed in, I pray that Jesus will shed light into the darkness of your box and empower you with the freedom that is given through His sacrifice and resurrection as He has done for me. It is only His freedom which will give you the strength and the courage to tear down the walls of your box.

Bless you all, emman

Staying in My Lane

2007-06-17T20:09:00.000-04:00

Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends,

It has been a few months since last I wrote. The last few months have been busy, but good. Volunteering with Radical Mission at our church twice a week has been amazing. God is blessing me with opportunities to be involved in His work in others lives...both in our church community and in our Clarksville community. I must tell you that working for God through Radical Mission is quite exhausting...mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My days are filled with helping those who are unable to help themselves. There are so many who are poor, broken, and lost. It is quite overwhelming at times. My heart breaks for each of them, and I long to be able to snap my fingers and make everything better. But that is not my purpose, my job, or my lane (for all the military out there). I am called by Jesus to help those in need for the simple purpose of fulfilling His call to share His grace, mercy, love, and compassion with those He places in my path.

I sometimes get into trouble when I set my sights on goals, expectations, assumptions, and personal opinions. I am learning that sharing the compassion of Jesus is the only goal or expectation I should have. Because in reality (the one in which I have been actively involved for the last several months), many of those with whom we are sharing compassion stick around for a while until their human needs are met and then they just disappear from the Radical Mission radar. No more blip on our screen.

Some are so deep into addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, and various other things, that a honest, healthy relationship is just not possible at the early stages of our involvement in their lives. So I am lied to, manipulated, pushed around, and disrespected...simply because they are lost in a darkness and do not know the way out of it. So I embrace them knowing that I am taking part in a game of half truths and manipulation, but pretending not to know.

Then there are those who seem to get it that Radical Mission is not just extending an offering of food, shelter, counseling, etc., but that God is at work in their lives. They come to church once, twice, maybe for a few months. But then, they hit the wall of their addictions or other issues in their life and stop and retreat and hide. Because Satan tricks them into believing that they can never be any one but the slave to the world that they are. And I do not know where they are or who they are with or what they are doing...yet I know that they are not in a safe place or with a safe person or doing safe things with their time. All my time, heart, and mind that went into them...and seemingly nothing to show for it.

Then there are those who just blatantly take advantage of you. Allow me to share what happened to me last night at church. I was a greeter for Saturday Night Worship. Two minutes before service started a man shows up at the door. He kinda hesitated as if he really did not want to come into the building. He opened the door...I said, "hello, welcome"...He said, "Are you the pastor?"...I said, "no". Then he gave me the come here sign with his index finger. It was not a gesture of polite asking, but more of a demand. I came closer to the threshold of the door and reached out my hand to shake his. He shook my hand as I introduced myself, but instead of letting go immediately, he pulled me slightly to get me to come outside and said, "come out here for a minute I need to talk to you." So I went outside to hear what he had to say. But I must be honest I was not happy about it at this point. I already felt pushed and disrespected. He told me that he and his wife were having car troubles, they were not from this area, they had no money, and wanted us to put them up for a night at the Red Roof Inn. Just as his gesture was demanding, his tone in his speech and request was more that of someone who expected to get what he thought he deserved.

Normally, I would have said yes anyway. But we have not been able to put people up for the night for several weeks because we were out of money to do so. So I explained to him the situation. He was obviously not happy with my response and asked where the pastor was. I told him that the pastor was inside. He said, "go get him and bring out here, I want to talk to him, a person has got to have a place to sleep!" Again, a demand. I told him I would be happy to bring him to the pastor. So he and his wife followed me in and I introduced him to our senior pastor and went back to the door to greet.

A few minutes later, pastor, the guy and his wife came back around the corner. Pastor was still talking to the guy about having me set them up with a room at the Meadow Motel (a Motel with whom the church has an account for these sort of needs). The guy completely ignored and blew off pastor and walked out the door as pastor was still talking to him. I thought to myself, "who does this guy think he is?" He went to sit in his car, I never saw him again. His wife stayed and waited as I set them up with a room which required me to drive to the motel because the manager was not picking up the phone.

Upon my return to church, she asked me if the motel was a decent place. Her tone had a ring of, "I do not want to stay in some dump." I told her that the motel was alright and that it was a roof over their head for the night. My tone was as cordial as possible, but by this time I must admit I was quite angry and frustrated with the whole situation. She asked about food. I told her that I could give her lots of food from our Hope Pantry and that the rooms had microwaves in them. She said that she was thinking of something more immediate. I thought to myself, "What is more immediate than 60 seconds in a microwave?" I thought she did not want to have to cook anything for any amount of time, she did say that she had not eaten all day, so I told her we had some chips and snacks in the Hope pantry that she could eat right away. She said she needed something with more substance. I then realized she wanted me to hand her some cash so they could go to a restaurant. I told her that I can offer her anything that we have in our Hope Pantry. She said that they would come back if they could not get some food some other way.

That was the end of that opportunity to share compassion for the evening. Honestly, I felt bad about the whole deal. I did not deserve to be treated like that, pastor did not deserve to be treated like that, and if someone is really in need, then that person joyfully accepts whatever is offered, right?! And who does he think he is coming into the church and demanding service?!

As I was processing all of this, God showed up and spoke into my heart about a few things...this is what He said. He said, "emman, what made you feel disrespected, pushed around, taken advantage of?" I said, "People should not treat people like that, I do not deserve that, pastor did not deserve that." God said, "emman, you did not answer My question. Why do you think you should not have been treated like that. What inside you tells you that you are someone special, someone to be respected and treated rightly?" Then I got it...I said, "My pride Lord. My pride was hurt, stepped on, and all but demolished in that whole situation." Then God began to work on my heart and brought me to a place I needed to be.

He reminded me of His own Son, the One and Only Savior of the World, Jesus Christ. He reminded me Jesus is the Only One to ever walk this earth that truly deserved respect and admiration. The Only One who had the right to be prideful. He lived a perfect life despite unbelievable trials and temptations and a purpose in life that is heavy enough and scary enough to send the bravest, most faithful man running the other direction. Yet He not only suffered the physical pain of being whipped with a cat of nine tails, nails in His hands and feet, scorching in the hot middle eastern sun, and death on a cross which ends in asphyxiation resulting from the build up of carbon dioxide in His lungs because He no longer had the strength to exhale.

Leading up to that...in the moments just before the physical pain began, some things even worse happened. Jesus was betrayed by one of His own disciples, yet He loved him even at the moment the betrayer greeted Him with a kiss and the soldiers took Him away. He was denied by one of His closest disciples, Peter "The Rock", the one who had the faith on which Jesus said He would build His church. He was mocked, disrespected, and ridiculed by the roman soldiers after they beat His back and sides to a bloody pulp. The soldiers put a purple robe and a crown of thorns on Jesus and spit on Him.

And what did Jesus do? What was Jesus thinking? Did He come back at them and ask them "Who do you think you are? Do you not know who I am, I am the Son of God, You better respect me and treat me as I deserve!" No...Jesus,

"who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:6-8)

And Jesus did not just go to the cross with a silent, pious humility amidst a situation filled with such wrongs and evils. He went to the cross with the pure humility that comes from an overwhelming, unquenchable compassion for those who are lost...for the very people who betrayed, denied, beat, mocked, and spat upon Him. A longing for the soldiers that sat at the foot of the cross, on which He hung bleeding and gasping for air, gambling for ownership of His garments after He died, to come to know the Father through His death. With one of His dieing breaths He said, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."

Philippians 2:5 says, "Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."

I am called to be like Jesus...to have His humility, His compassion, His longing for the lost to come close to Him...without regard for myself, my own opinions, desires, needs, status, position, expectations, etc. It is about Jesus, nothing else, no one else. I embrace the community in which God has placed me with compassion merely for the sake of answering His call. Because in answering His call, a wonderful thing happens...He works in and through me to reach into others lives and give them the same grace and love which He gave me.

It is not always in His plan that I see the result of that grace and love, but it is His plan that I participate in the giving of it by pouring out, emptying myself...just as did my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That is my lane and I am going to strive each and every day to stay in it. The rest is up to Him!

i am because He is,
emman

Miracle of Healing

2007-03-17T09:52:00.000-04:00

Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends,

I write to you this morning to share a story of the healing power of our mighty God. I have a dear friend here in Clarksville. His name is Ryan. He has a wonderful family (wife and two kids). He had a sore inside his cheek for a while. It began to bother him quite a bit. He thought he may have bit it while eating or something and the cut became infected. He went to his doctor a few weeks ago. His doctor told him it was not an infection, but that it was most likely oral cancer! His doctor set Ryan an appointment with an oral cancer specialist...for TWO WEEKS later. The next two weeks were filled with anxiety, fear, frustration, etc. etc. etc. We all prayed for Ryan and his family a lot in those two weeks. The weekend before his appointment our denomination's district had its annual Men's Retreat. That Saturday afternoon, Ryan was called to the front to kneel at the alter. Approximately 100 men of God (laymen and pastors) gathered around Ryan and laid hands on him and prayed for healing.

Let me tell you something...if you have never been in the middle of a gathering of Christians all praying together as one with one heart and mind...you need to seek out that opportunity! It is powerful. I could feel the Holy Spirit flowing through that mass of men. God was moving through us.

We all prayed aloud simultaneously for around five minutes. There was not a dry eye amongst us. That night was the first night Ryan slept in two weeks. God had taken the anxiety and replaced it with His peace. Last Tuesday, Ryan had his appointment with the cancer specialist. The specialist examined Ryan's mouth and then looked at Ryan and said, "I am not sure why your doctor sent you to me, there is NOTHING there." There was nothing, not even a sore spot, not even a hint that there was ever anything abnormal about his cheek! God healed him!

God is so very good and so gracious. Do not forget that He is always with you and always listening to your prayers. He may have chosen to answer the prayers of His covenant children with comfort and peace through a journey with cancer. And that would have been enough...but do not forget, that our God is not just the Lord of Creation, He is also our Abba (Daddy) and our Friend. We must trust in His faithfulness and believe in His power over all things in this world.

Glory be to God, The God above all things! May His grace and mercy be with all of you.

Faithing It

2007-02-27T20:16:00.000-05:00

Usually, when you tell another believer that God is leading you to do something that requires a leap of faith they will say, "Do not worry, just trust Him, He will take care of you." And your immediate answer is, "That is easier said, than done." The thing is, both statements are right. The first statement requires you to believe in God's strength and His ability to care for His children. In order to get beyond the second (which is the hard part), you must believe that despite your own weakness and complete inability to do anything...His strength and ability will prevail. Getting beyond the second is a test as to whether or not you truly believe the first. Our earthly, fleshly fears play a big role in this internal struggle. One of the ways we are able to finally overcome our fears and trust in Him is through the encouragement we receive from stories of faithful steps being blessed by God.

For instance, when I need encouragement regarding God's provision and comfort I need look no further than Nathan and Diana Lee's life. God continually guides, provides, and comforts the Lees through situations in life that are very very difficult, to put it lightly. He is always with them. He is always providing wisdom, comfort, courage, grace, love, and provision in ways that are far beyond my own imagination as well as theirs.

So, I want to tell you how faithful God has been in our lives lately so that you may be encouraged in your own walks down the narrow path which at many times require leaps of faith despite your fears. I asked for specific prayer a few posts ago regarding our leap of faith further into the ministry.

1. Healthcare for Caleb (Jade and I are now enrolled in FREE VA medical care for ANYTHING needed aside from dental and vision for the next two years, Caleb is not covered)
Answer: Caleb was accepted for TENN CARE which is a state funded health insurance. It is absolutely free...no co-pays, no monthly premiums, AND he gets to keep his doctor whom we like very much. Dental and Vision are covered. God is Awesome! Now we are all covered with FREE health insurance.

2. Provision - please pray that God opens up His storehouse and provides the financial resources we need as we focus on His ministry. God has provided around $4700 in the last month from an unexpectedly large tax refund (in fact, I was expecting to owe a little) as well as many very old savings bonds which my mom happened upon while going through some old paperwork. His ways are mysterious and often unexpected, but He is true to His promises to care for us.

Please continue to pray for ongoing provision as well as...
3. Wisdom, Faith, Boldness, Compassion, Perseverance, and Grace.
4. Protection - Satan is not liking this decision we are making, pray that God delivers us from evil and leads us away from temptation.
5. Lots on Lake Cumberland will be sold (been on the market for 12 months, our financial needs will greatly decrease once they sell), we lowered the price in hopes of enticing someone.

Today, I was able to talk and pray with a grandmother who has taken in her two grandchildren because her daughter is addicted to drugs and is currently undergoing rehab (that is the short version of her story). She came to church today to ask for assistance in the way of food, furniture, toiletries, bedding, etc. I pray she received more than that during her visit. She is why I want to spend my days working at the church. She is the reason that God has called me to do this. I am not saved, blessed, or graced for myself, but for those around me whom God intends to save, bless, and grace through me just as He saved and continues to bless and grace me through others. We are all part of the cycle of giving and receiving Compassion. We are all called to a lifestyle of love for God which is fleshed out in our love for our neighbors.

God Bless You All!

Lent - A Season of Christian Worship

2007-02-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

I was asked to assist in an Ash Wednesday service to begin this season of Lent. I thought I would share with each of you what I shared with the congregation last night...

Lent is a season of worship focused on spiritual renewal for each of us individually and as a community. It is 40 days focused on seeking God and His will for our lives. For some of us, that may mean reading God’s word more…for others it may mean spending more time in prayer…For all of us, it is a time to absorb God’s call for us, and to examine ourselves to find the areas in our day to day life that still need to be given over to Him.

Historically, Christians have observed Lent in order to prepare their minds, bodies, and souls for the remembrance of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross and the celebration of His resurrection. The entire church body was involved,

…members of the Body fasted, studied God’s word, and prayed,
…new converts were prepared during this time by the leaders of the church for Holy baptism,
…and those who had been separated from the church body due to sin spent this time in a spirit of repentance as they expressed to God their sorrow over their sin and their desire to turn away from it, to be forgiven, and to walk the narrow path again.

Through all of this, the whole body of Christ was reminded of the true message of the Gospel…that while we were still sinners, unable to do, say, or think anything that would save us from eternal separation from God, Jesus Christ died for us so that we could be forgiven and enter into a relationship of Grace and Mercy with the God of all creation. We are redeemed only through the sacrifice of Jesus. There was, and still is, absolutely nothing we can do to save ourselves.

We are wholly and completely dependent upon Jesus…

Brothers and Sisters, this is the primary purpose of Lent…to remind us that we are utterly dependent upon our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Nothing in this world of flesh sustains us, not money, not big houses, not material possessions, not having the right friends, not getting that promotion, not times of vegging out in front of the television, not being the smartest, strongest, or the nicest…not even food, for “it is written, man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.”

Are there words that God has been speaking to you recently, or maybe for quite a while, that you have not heard or listened to? Maybe you have been relying too heavily on this world to sustain you? Maybe you are not hearing God clearly because you are not depending solely on Him to sustain you. God is speaking to each and every one of us. Are you listening for His words?

I invite you to observe this Holy Lent season by sacrificing those things in your world which are causing static in the signal between you and God. Make the next 40 days,

…a time of repentance and prayer
…a time of self denial and sacrifice
…a time of study and meditation on God’s Word
…a time to focus on what God’s will is for your life.

It begins with the mark of the ashes which reminds us that our bodies are mortal,
and climaxes with the celebration of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ which allows for our souls to be with Him eternal.

God is Faithful

2007-01-11T16:35:00.000-05:00

Dearest Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends,

I am writing this quick note to let you know how God is already showing His faithfulness to us.
I spoke with my boss at USIS on Tuesday and told him of our Call to work with the Church and my need to go to Part Time. He was understanding (which was a huge answer to prayer). He said that if it were up to him, he would find me something to do, but he does not make those decisions. He told me that he has had other investigators ask to move to part time, but HR always says no (I thought to myself, "Yeah, but what he and HR does not know is that God is in control of this request"). Wednesday morning I received an e-mail telling me that I CAN move to part time. Praise the Lord! This is a great blessing because a part time job with USIS will pay me more money than most other part time jobs.

I also want to express our deep appreciation for all the encouraging words we have received from some of you in the last couple of days. We really feel God's comfort through you all. He is working through you to continue to build our faith and resolve in following His path for us. We are so blessed to have each of you in our lives.

Another praise - we have already received an offer of support to assist in providing for our needs as we dive into the ministry. I have no words to express how much that means to us. I have not responded to the offer because I am not sure how to. It is so humbling to be cared for SO much by God and the community of believers that one would offer their own resources to help sustain ours. I know that this is part of being a missionary for God, I just had no idea how wonderful it would feel to be loved in this way. My eyes are welling up as I sense the movement and faithfulness of God all around us. He is so very good to us, so much better to us than we could ever deserve.

Please know without a doubt that we are overwhelmed by all of your support in prayers, words, resources, etc. God is listening to all of you as you lift us up to Him. He is answering! Take a moment to really soak that in...The God of the Universe and Creator of all things is listening to YOUR requests, and not just listening with a deaf ear, but answering YOUR requests because YOU mean everything to Him, YOU mean enough to Him to sacrifice His own Son so that YOU are made righteous in His sight which allows YOU to approach Him with YOUR requests. Wow, that is awesome! Jade and I (and Caleb as he grows) will strive everyday to honor God and the support He provides through those around us by giving all we can to the work He has for us.
God bless you all!

A Call Requires An Answer

2007-01-07T16:28:00.000-05:00

Dear Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends:

I want to tell you all how much we appreciate your prayers, thoughts, e-mails, etc. God uses each of you to encourage and teach us in many ways. Please continue to keep us in your prayers and communicate with us as often as you feel led. We love you all and pray that you are able to see God's Blessings all around you each day even amidst the chaos of busy everyday lives.

I am writing to you today to give you a snapshot of my heart and the road on which God is calling us to travel...

click...FLASH...press review(digital cameras are great - instant picture:))...here is my heart...

I interviewed a guy just recently. He worked for DOD and had some issues come up which required me to ask him a lot of questions. He was 61 years old and completely broken. His marriage of 20 years had ended in a heart wrenching divorce just a few years ago. He went through a period of time a couple of years ago during which he was sick and spent a lot of time in the hospital. He thought he was dieing. He had made some bad decisions which resulted in some criminal issues in 2006. Again, he was 61 years old. He cried three times during our interview. His eyes were full of pain. I looked through them and saw a heart full of holes which have come from the chaos in his life. His eyes reflected the hopelessness that his heart felt. I knew in my heart that all he needed was for someone to show him some glimmer of hope. He needed someone to let him know that he is indeed loved and that his despair does not have to continue. He needed someone to tell him about Jesus. I wanted so much to put my briefcase away, take off my jacket and tie, and wrap my arms around him and tell him about the Hope of hopes. But I could not...I represent the Federal Government and the Federal Government does not do that sort of thing. So instead I did my best to focus on my task at hand and suffered inside as he suffered outwardly . I walked out of that interview thinking only about an opportunity missed, and wondering if I should have risked my job to tell him the answer to his chaos.

So do you think the picture turned out clearly? I think so...

We made the decision around March 2006 to move to Clarksville, TN to help First Church of the Nazarene in the planting of a church in inner-city Clarksville. Not just any church, but a church that will reach out to the addicts, prostitutes, mentally ill, poor, homeless, etc. We left successful careers in the Army and set about preparing to move and buying a house before I had obtained a job in Clarksville. We made some pretty irrational, unreasonable, and crazy decisions. People would ask me what I was going to do for money. I told them I really did not know. I had a wife who we planned on being a full-time mom to our newborn son at the time. There were many who probably thought we were a little out of our minds. And they were absolutely correct! Our decisions had nothing to do with rational thoughts or a logical decision making process. We made them because God called us to Clarksville. We had faith that He would bless our obedience in that call by providing what we needed. He did indeed provide! I landed a job about 30 days before moving. The job started two days before my Army pay ended. We found a house and were able to purchase it and we have all that we need and quite a lot more.

Many have told us that our example of faith was a great inspiration and encouragement. Indeed, God uses His people at those moments in which we decide to lean on His understanding, instead of our own, to show His faithfulness to all those around. And it did take quite a bit of faith to do what we did. I thank God that He has blessed us with that faith. It is not of our own creation nor is it anything about which we can boast.

Despite the move, I must confess to all of you that I have not been the faithful servant to God that I am supposed to be. I have spent the last six months working a full-time job and trying to squeeze in some extra hours here and there helping with Radical Mission and the church. My heart has not been at peace for the last six months. Everyday I have been struggling, wrestling with God. God did not bring me here to try to squeeze some hours in at the church. God brought me here to work in full-time ministry within the church and squeeze in a part time job as needed. I have been struggling with the responsibilities of household bills, mortgage, land payments (lots we own on Lake Cumberland), healthcare, etc. All the stuff that the world tells us we should worry about. I have been telling God that it would be irresponsible of me to work at the church. The church can not pay me. I am responsible to provide for my family. Every day, and through just about every sermon in the past six months, God has been telling me not to worry about those things. But I continued to worry and I attempted to ignore Him. Honestly part of me hoped the call would go away, at least for a little while. It did not. Instead it became louder and harder to block out.

This past Sunday, our pastor preached a sermon on, you guessed it, FAITH! The Holy Spirit did not pull any punches. I my heart was black and blue by the end of it. I knew that I was not being obedient to my Call. I knew that despite what many around me thought, I was not a good and faithful servant. There was an invitation to pray after the sermon and I all but bolted to the alter, kneeled, and began to pray.

And then the Holy Spirit really unleashed. Jeff and Rich came to pray with me. I love them both. Jeff began to pray aloud and as my heart was pleading with God to take away my fears. The Holy Spirit seemed to tell Jeff exactly what I was feeling at each moment. Every fear I expressed silently was the exact fear for which Jeff prayed next. I just felt smaller and smaller and smaller. And God kept looking bigger and bigger and bigger. The Holy Spirit was telling me to stop worrying about all of this, God has this under control, He knows what he is doing, you can trust Him, He will not let you fall. God is bigger than all of my worries and fears. I asked God for a peace, an overwhelming peace that would outweigh the fears of my flesh. He did indeed provide!

I spoke with Jade about all of this later that Sunday (she was in nursery, not in service with me). Jade had a peace about it as well. Which is another great sign that God is working. Trust me! When you tell your wife that you believe God is calling you to give up your job and work for the church for no money and she says, "lets do it", that is a God thing!

God clarified something else to me that Sunday afternoon...I was living as though providing for my family was the number one priority in my life. I was wrong. My number one priority as a husband, father, and spiritual leader of my household is to obediently lead my family down the path on which God has called us. When I lead obediently, God opens up the doors through which all the provisions we need will come. He has always done so before. Why was I doubting Him? Because I am weak, but He is oh so strong.

God is calling us to be Missionaries to Clarksville, TN. To bring the reality of the Good News to the those who have never experienced Jesus. I am quitting my full time job with USIS as of 27 January. I will be coming along side of pastor brett smith and assisting him in the awesome task of being used by God through Radical Mission to show Jesus to the outcasts of Clarksville. The church will not be paying me anything. I know that God has provisions already set aside for us so that we can focus on His work. We just have to set our eyes on Jesus and step out of the boat. I plan to have a part time job of some sort at first that will assist in keeping food on the table and a roof over our head. I also intend to look into going back to school at some point with the goal of getting a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling. We are excited and at peace about this step closer to God in our lives. I am looking forward to see what God has in store for us...the ministry, the blessings, the suffering, the joy, and the grace.

We need your focused prayers. My brother, Nathan, once said that we should all be specific in our prayer requests so that our brothers and sisters can focus their prayers as well as see the Majesty of God as He answers those prayers specifically. So here are our prayer requests...

1. Wisdom, Faith, Boldness, Compassion, Perseverance, and Grace
2. Protection - Satan is not liking this decision we are making, pray that God delivers us from evil and leads us away from temptation
3. Healthcare for Caleb (Jade and I are now enrolled in FREE VA medical care for ANYTHING needed aside from dental and vision for the next two years, Caleb is not covered)
4. Lots on Lake Cumberland will be sold (been on the market for 10 months, our financial needs will greatly decrease once it sells - anyone want some great lake property:-) )
5. Provision - please pray that God opens up His storehouse and provides the financial resources we need as we focus on His ministry.

We also need your thoughts, words of encouragement, words of wisdom, words of caution, etc. No Christian is an island. God created the community of believers as a source of inspiration, encouragement, wisdom, guidance, and love to all us. We need all those things, but most of all we need your love.

We love you all, thank you for traveling this road along with us. We do appreciate your presence in our lives. Keep the Faith! God Bless you all!

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-21T20:40:00.001-05:00

Brothers, Sisters, Family, and Friends, it has been a long time since my last letter, even still, you all have been near to our hearts. 2006 is coming to a close and I have one question for you...Are you closer to God than when the year started? I pray that you are and that you are able to look back on 2006 and see where God has been with each of you, working along side of you, comforting you, providing for you, guiding you, and teaching you lessons along the way to mature you and strengthen you as you walk through each day. I know that God certainly has done each of those things in our lives this year.

God has been so good to us and this letter serves as a way to share our joy of another year living in His light and glory with you. As all of you know, God blessed us with Caleb Isaac on 9 December 2005. Caleb has brought a smile so bright to our hearts. The past year has been full of smiles, laughter, and discoveries as well as some sleepless nights and fussiness and colds. All in all, we are more than blessed. Caleb has one of the sweetest, most peaceful spirits we have met. We are honored that God has chosen us as his parents. We strive each day to raise him in an environment filled with the faith, hope, and love that God has given us. We attempt to be intentional in every decision we make regarding his welfare...considering the results of our decisions. Please pray for us that God would continually guide us and help us with our shortcomings so that we may be Godly parents.

As you all know, we decided to leave our service in the Army to follow God's leading to Clarksville, TN to help plant a church in inner city Clarksville. I have been serving on the Board of Directors for Radical Mission. Radical Mission is a non-profit organization that we have created to "look for creative ways to bring people together - across economic, racial and social boundaries - to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world." I believe that Radical Mission is the vehicle which God is using to create relationships with those in Clarksville we want to reach and for whom we want to plant a church. Here are some of the ways we do that: Micro-lending program, literacy program, budgeting classes, breakfast for the homeless, celebrate recovery, mission trips, food pantry, clothing closet, prison ministry, emergency assistance, employment assistance, and crown financial classes. These "programs" have all been birthed from one thing which makes them different than secular social services...Love. We are seeking to do more than provide a need. We want to create friendships founded on the Love which God pours out to all people regardless of one's economic, emotional, mental, or physical state. Unfortunately, many churches today do nothing more than OUTreach programs through which they provide a need at a distance by offering money, putting up angel trees, or the occasional clothing drive. But the OUTreach never becomes an INvitation to join the family, to share in the love of the church community. It is safer to keep those they are reaching OUTside. That way, no one has to get really INvolved. We are currently attempting to break that trend. God has given us a vision and I am excited that we are a part of His works here. We are currently focusing on creating relationships and raising support...physical (we need people who share this vision to come along side of us to help), prayer (faith and prayer are the key variables in following any path which God lays before you), and financial (we live in a world in which everything cost money). If any of you hear God's voice leading you to assist us with your time, prayer, or money please do not hesitate to answer His call. We would love to have you pray for us consistently, volunteer to help, or offer financial support.

Jade has answered God's call to help at our church (First Church of the Nazarene) by being the Nursery Director. Jade has already instituted many positive changes which impacts our children's health and safety while being cared for during the worship services. She is currently sacrificing her ability to attend worship service and Sunday school most Sundays in order to ensure the children are cared for properly. Parents have thanked her for what she is doing and told her that they feel more comfortable about leaving their children in the nursery since she has taken on the Director role. Jade works hard and it can be stressful, but God is using her in great ways and she is doing a wonderful job. Please pray for her as she continues in this role. She needs continued patience and wisdom.

Caleb has the wonderful blessing of being loved on by the best mommy in the world all day long every day of the week. We thank God that He provides so that Jade may live out her calling to be a full-time mommy. She loves spending the days playing with him, teaching him, and guiding him through a world so full of new and interesting things. Caleb thrives under her care and love. I know that much of the glow I see on his face comes from being loved so completely by his mommy. He is walking now and he is unstoppable. He says "please" and "more" with sign language as well as a verbal attempt which only Jade and I are able to understand I think. He is the cutest baby I have ever seen (yes I know I am a little biased). His blue eyes and facial expressions will make even the meanest scrooge melt.

I am still working with USIS. It is a job for which I am thankful although not one I truly enjoy. My heart is not in it. I am able to create my own schedule, work from home, and we benefit from being able to use the company car for personal use. God has truly blessed us with providing a job with so much flexibility and one that pays the bills and keeps food on our table. He always provides. I am seeking His face in my future and I long to work for the church full time one day. I am planning to look into getting a degree in Christian counseling. Helping people navigate through the wilderness of life is my passion. I wandered off that path a long time ago, but God is showing me daily that I need to return to it. I am so happy and complete when God puts me in a situation to help others with life. That is what I believe we are all called to do as Christians, be an active part of a community in which every person encourages one another, learns from one another, teaches one another, laughs and crys with one another. God's glory is well represented in such a community.

To close this letter, I must share with you the most important lesson of 2006 (and 2005) that God has been, and still is, teaching us. God has been showing us what it means to truly be present in peoples lives. Being present is not merely a physical issue. Look at how Jesus was present in the lives of those around Him. He taught and preached God's love and faithfulness to all those who would listen. But He did not stop at words...He touched people. He touched them by tending to their diseases and infirmities. He touched them by spending time with them, relating to them, showing them that God does not want to be an OUTreach program, He wants to transform their lives from withIN. Jesus saved the adulteress from being stoned. He walked among and brought healing to the lepers. He helped the lame to walk, the blind to see, and the dead He brought to life. But most of all Jesus brought hope to the hopeless by becoming part of their lives...God Himself walked with them in their everyday lives. He accepted the immoral adulteresses, crooked tax collectors, the diseased lepers, the down-trodden poor, and the infirm outcasts just as they were. He shows us that God loves us despite our unloveliness. He brings the beauty of acceptance into our lives through His grace and mercy. We are given that grace and mercy to be used by God to spread that same grace and mercy to all those around us. To reach OUT and grab a hold of those who need His love and pull them INto a community overflowing with that love. In order to do that, we must be present in their everyday lives. We must laugh with them and cry with them. We must allow ourselves to rejoice and suffer with them. We are quick to share in the joyous times, but the suffering is harder to really accept as our own.

Can you do that? Can you truly open your heart to allow someone else's suffering to become your own? To stand along side them as Satan shoots his fiery arrows into their hearts, risking being hit with those arrows as well? To allow yourself to be used by God, in ways that may be uncomfortable for you, in order to be His tool of comfort for someone else. If you can not, I pray that you will be able to one day. You are missing the icing on the cake of being a Christian...

II Corinthians 1:3-7,
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort."

"Being among people means being in their midst, not outside. It means being with them, not being over them. It means not looking away from their agony or humiliation, but beholding it, and having the courage to be also wounded by their pain."(Greg Paul, God in the Alley)

Our God is the God of Comfort. He comforts us so that we can comfort others with that same God-given comfort. We suffer and God uses others to comfort us as they have been comforted by Him. Others suffer and God uses us to comfort them as He comforted us. You see, God comforts people through people. When we learn to suffer along side of others, God not only provides comfort through us, but also to us by strengthening our faith as we not only witness, but also participate in, His provision for His people. We are part of a community, we will be the comforters as well as the sufferers at times. There is nothing like the feeling of being used by God to encourage, strengthen, and comfort the suffering. To see the glory of God flicker in their eyes as He shines His light into their darkness and know that He chose you to be a part of that healing. The only equal to that feeling is obtained at the points in your life when you are suffering and you sense His glory flickering in your own eyes and you see His light shine into your own darkness because God has shown His faithfulness by choosing someone through whom He comforts you. Praise the Lord! To comfort and be comforted, those are the moments that make each day worth living!

We love you all! I pray that God chooses to comfort someone through you and that He comforts you through someone else. I pray that the God of all comfort blesses you and those close to you. I pray that your faith in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit increases with each setting sun. I pray that Jesus is your reason for living. I pray that you know I love you the same even if He is not. I praise God for your friendships. God is so very good.

His, emman

Overdue Update

2006-07-24T19:35:00.000-04:00

Brothers, Sisters, Family and Friends,

I first must apologize for the two month void I have allowed to happen in your knowledge of what God has been doing in our lives. Please forgive me...I will try to do better.

God has been doing great things here in Clarksville. We are surrounded by His grace and I can not thank Him enough for all that He is giving us. We began moving in our new home on 27 June. The road trip was long, but with the help of Nathan and my mom, we were able to drive straight through. Of course, Caleb was great during the road trip. He seems to settle in quite well on road trips. That is a blessing I hope continues for the next 17 years or so. We are still "moving in" and will probably be doing so for another couple of months. We have painted five rooms. We will eventually paint the two bathrooms and the hallway, but we are taking a break for now. We had a privacy fence put around the backyard so now the dogs have more space to run than they have ever known in their two and a half years. They are quite happy with their yard and it makes us happy to watch them enjoy it. We can not wait until Caleb is old enough to run and play with them. We still can not fit any cars in the garage due to all the boxes, but we hope to move most of the stuff into the attic in the next week or so.

I started my new job at USIS 10 July. I am one of those Special Investigators who track you down when you need a security clearance or a PR. One of the good things about it is that I make my own schedule and I work out of my home office. I will be driving a lot during the days I must venture out, but I do not mind driving. I have a company car with full expenses paid, insurance, gas, maintenance, repairs, etc. I am also allowed to use it for personal use as much as I want so that is great! God has truly blessed us with this job. I am not thrilled about the actual job and I do not see myself doing this for an extended amount of time. However, it pays the bills and provides insurance and my start date worked out perfectly with my ETS. I did not have a day that I was not paid. I ask for prayer in regards to our future direction. I am seeking God's face in what I do for a living. I am feeling a tug in a direction that is not so comfortable. I do not want to say more at this point. I still need to pray and think on this more. But I would greatly appreciate your prayers that God will open my heart AND eyes to see and accept the direction He wants us to go. If He puts something on your heart, please share it with me. He often speaks to us through those with whom He surrounds us.

Jade is doing well. Please pray for her back. It has not been right since the pregnancy and the Army kept dancing around the issue so now she is stuck dealing with VA on the matter. Please pray that God would guide and direct her through this process. That He would surround her with comfort and grace as He works this out for her according to His will. She loves being a full time Mommy again. And Caleb really flourishes in her presence. He seems to grow faster and faster each day. He is almost crawling now. He is so very close. I suspect he will be doing so within the next month. He is so very attentive and examines everything very closely. Nothing gets by him. If there is one new thing in the room, he will immediately notice it. Today, Jade was feeding him carrots. This is the second round of carrot attempts. The first round was a couple of weeks ago and he does not like them. He opened his mouth, and then looked at the spoon, he noticed that this was not the yellow squash color nor the green broccoli color..it was the evil carrot color...ORANGE. He closed his mouth and gave Mommy a look like, "where do you think you are putting that." He is too cute.

There are GREAT things afoot at our church, but that is another letter all together. I will get to that in the next week or so. Just be encouraged that God has already shown us many reasons why He brought us here. We are excited for the coming months as we begin to jump into His purposes here in Clarksville. Until next time...God bless you all and we love you!

The Answer - Nothing Short of a Miracle

2006-07-24T19:33:00.000-04:00

Brothers and Sisters, Friends and Family,

First of all, I want to say to all of you who prayed and replied with encourage....you have added blessing to my soul. Your e-mails alone were enormously (is that a word?) uplifting. How can a person be down or discouraged when he is surrounded by such love? So let me tell you how God answered you all today. This will be lengthy, but I want to put the details in it so that you can see how much God was in it. I believe we can see God most in the details of our lives, it is just that usually we do not take the time to focus enough to see the trees, we just see the forest. In the trees we see the great care and love and grace that God personally puts into each and every one....

I had a telecon with work at 0800. It lasted until around 0850. I was shooting to leave the house at 0900, but I could not find my keys so it delayed me until 0910ish. Admittedly, I was a little tense because I wanted to get started on this adventure as soon as possible because I had no idea how long it would take. So I pull up to the gate at Ft. Campbell and realize that the temporary pass for our vehicle for Ft. Campbell only has my wife's name on it. It had a spot for additional drivers but it was blank. So I said a little prayer and acted normal. The gate guard looked at my i.d., looked at my pass, looked at my license plate #, and said....have a nice day. YES! First Angel's mission accomplished. Then I realize that I did not bring anything proving that I am ETSing, no leave form, no orders, just me and my military i.d. and my story. This was a really dumb move on my part. Thankfully, God is smarter than I am and adjusts accordingly (nobody get theological on me for that statement, just let me tell my story). So I walk into Blanchfield Army Hospital. I have no idea where I should go to find a doctor who will give me a referral to dermatology to have this excision done. I am standing in front of a poor excuse for a hospital directory trying to figure out where to go. You see...the night before my doctor at Ft. Meade called and advised me to go to the hospital here and get a doctor to give me a referral, so I was planning on walking into each clinic and seeing what happened. Que the next Angel....a random nice doctor "happened" to walk by just as I was standing there (back track a moment...remember I was standing there ten minutes later than I had wanted to be due to losing my keys). He stopped and asked me where I was trying to get to. That was a loaded question....I told him I had no idea where I wanted to go and I gave him a brief run down of my story. He started to look as confused as I did and then suggested I just go straight to dermatology and they could probably tell me exactly from who they would need the referral. Great idea! I told you God was smarter than I am. So I went to dermatology first, which turned out to be the key to unlock the door (second mission accomplished). I spoke with two ladies at the front desk. How should I describe them...well, let just say that one was very optimistic and one was...um...not so optimistic. The not so optimistic one said that I would just have to deal with VA because I did not have enough time to get the referral in and see the doctor because he had a meeting this afternoon and would be gone all day on Friday (which is my last day in the Army and last day of eligibility for tricare). The optimistic one looked up my record, saw that the results were atypical and that a larger excision was needed. She told me that if I went to La Pointe Medical Clinic on post I could try to get one of the Primary Care Doctors to see me and put in a referral. The other one said that they probably would not see me and reiterated that they could not see me before tomorrow. The tennis match between the two was almost amusing (it would have been quite hilarious, except that I was the ball). So the not so optimistic one eventually relinquished and wrote down my information and said that she would at least be watching for the referral if it came in (third angel's mission accomplished). So I headed to La Pointe, the problem was that I knew the not so lady was probably correct. But I knew all of you were praying so I walked into the clinic with courage and a smile and stepped into the ring, I mean up to the desk. She did not have one of those "I am very concerned about patients and will go out of my way to do whatever I can to make things happen" faces. I told her my story and she was very not so optimistic. She did not think I could be seen and did not think it would happen before tomorrow. I kept assuring her that if I could just get the referral I would be one step closer. She asked me to fill out a walk-in sick call slip and she would see what could be done. Then she gave it to a nurse and explained it to her. The nurse said that referrals take 72 hours to get to the specialty clinics (now, what computer system takes 72 hours to send a file to a location 3 miles away?). But I smiled and said (remember the key), "I have just come from dermatology and they said they are waiting right now for the referral." The nurses face changed from a frown to a slightly positive grin. SCORE! So she asked me to have a seat. 30 minutes or so passed and she came out to tell me that the doctor finished and sent my referral (man, these angels are on a ROLE). She said that I should make sure dermatology had my contact numbers and wait for them to call me. I had their phone number, but I thought it best to have a little more face time with them so I headed back to dermatology. I walk in and guess what, not so lady is not there, but the optimistic one was not either. But God placed another nice one in their place. She was very concerned about my situation, she looked at the referral and spoke with the derm nurse, and looked at the afternoon's schedule. She was hopeful, but she said I needed to call in about an hour and speak to the not so lady because she is the one who does the scheduling. That was a knife to the chest. But the derm nurse said that it would be entirely up to the doctor as to whether or not he could fit me in today. Again, he had a meeting this afternoon and was gone all day tomorrow. My time was running short. So I headed home at 1145. At 1235 I called the clinic and spoke with the not so lady, and she was still....not so. She said I would just have to go to the VA hospital in Nashville and get it done there. So I got the VA phone number and started to call them. It took several minutes to get through the automated phone tree and then I was automatedly (word?) told that they "were experiencing high call volume and that my hold time may be extended." So I am on hold for about ten minutes or so, all the while thinking about the fact that it will probably take several months to get into the VA system and actually be seen and hoping that my arm did not fall off by then. Finally, a ring, you know, the ring just before you get connected to someone. Great....ring, ring, ring, it did not stop. I must of sat there for two minutes listening to it ring, just my luck I wait all this time and then the system screws up...do I hang up, maybe just a few more rings....I hang up. MY phone rings....caller I.D. says it is a Ft. Campbell Hospital.....

Are you guys ready for this.......the not so lady says "hello, is this Staff Sergeant Chapman?" AND she does not sound "not so" anymore!!!! I say, "yes it is." She says, "What are you doing at 2:45pm today?" I caught on real quick, I said, "COMING in to the Dermatology clinic!" She said, "Yes. The Doctor's meeting was cancelled and he said he could help you out by seeing you today." (I commend that fifth angel who got the meeting cancelled. Great Work! You need a raise!) And now I know why I could not get through to VA as well. As Jade said, "God was holding me off, saying, hold on...I am working the issue, just be patient. Do not lose faith!"

Hallelujah! All of you out there who know anything about Army Medical care and the way it works can not deny this Miracle. I walked in cold turkey without being assigned to a unit, or clinic, or doctor on this post, I got a referral to a specialty clinic AND I got a same day a appointment for a surgical procedure at the clinic! That never happens! Until today! And NO ONE asked to see my orders! Which means that each and everyone of them took me at my word without having the paperwork to back it up. That never happens either, the Army is all about having the right paperwork in the right place at the right time, otherwise you are out of luck!

So I am now missing a big chunk of my skin. I will not tell you the details, but just know that they cut so deep that I have two sets of stitches, one set down in my skin which can not be seen, and one set for the surface of my skin. The biopsy results will be back in a couple of weeks. The Doc said that it does not seem to BE cancer, but it was something that could DEVELOP into cancer so that is why they removed it.

Sorry this story is so very long, but I hope you feel encouraged that God listens. And if you are one out there who doubts that God listens or maybe doubts He even exists, I hope that this may encourage you. God is alive and walking along side His children each and every day. We just have to take time to stop and look closely at the trees. If you do, I promise you will see Him.

I love you all! Truly, thanks so very much for your fellowship. It means everything on this earth to me and my family. God Bless!

--
His, emman

Prayer Request - Atypical Mole

2006-07-24T19:30:00.000-04:00

Hello Brothers and Sisters, Friends and Family,

Just a quick prayer request....

I received a call today from the doctor who removed a unusual mole from my shoulder a few weeks ago at Ft Meade. The biopsy came back abnormal (not necessarily cancer) and I must go to the hospital at Ft Campbell tomorrow to see if I can get them to see me and recut the area to make sure they get it all out. I am less concerned about the possibility of cancer than the odds of me walking into an Army Medical Facility cold turkey and trying to get this taken care of. And by the way my ETS is in two days. So a lot of paperwork will have to be done which always makes people HAPPY ;) and I am also in the middle of training for my new job which puts me on a time schedule with telecons and assignments etc. Soooooo....could I get some prayer cover on this that God would go ahead of me and allow for me to meet the right people who will actually want to help me tomorrow? If you do not pray, I would appreciate it if you would hope or think or wish or whatever. I know He will listen to all of you. Thanks and God Bless!

I would write more and I know I have a lot of updating to do on the Blog, but as I said I am in training and I still have "miles to go before I sleep." Love you all!

--
His, emman

Home in Clarksville

2006-05-25T17:33:00.000-04:00

Hello again everyone, We just wanted to give everyone a quick update now that we have returned from our house hunting adventure in Clarksville. An adventure it was. I must have searched through many hundreds of homes on the internet in the past month. We drove by close to 50 different ones while in Clarksville. We drug our realtor (Kurt Finley - Prudential Professionals Realty, I highly recommend him) into 10 of those homes once and 3 of those twice and then picked one that was not originally in that set of 50. Whew! Praise the Lord that we picked one though. We made an offer that was accepted by the contractor. We close on the house on 30 June. So that means we are now leaving Maryland on 26 June (32 days). It will be a crazy 32 days, but we are excited to begin the next stage in the journey God has set for us. Thank you all for your prayers regarding the house. He provided much strength and patience which was well needed. Please continue to pray as we try to accomplish two months of stuff in the next 32 days. My job search is continuing. I know there is something out there for me to do. I just need to find it. Hopefully all of you are doing well. God bless you all!

Path Leads to Clarksville

2006-05-09T21:04:00.000-04:00

To quote Pastor Jeff, "Following Jesus isn’t always the kind of cut and dry journey that I would assume it to be. It is a journey that requires moment by moment willingness to move in accordance with the movement of God, the instruction of the church and our personal calling in God."

We have changed our direction slightly due to God's movement in Clarksville and His leading of our hearts. God has already laid the ground work for a inner city Church in Clarksville through initiatives led by Pastor Jeff and First Church of the Nazarene. The work is unfinished, and honestly, it would be selfish for us to abandon the completion of a church plant in Clarksville to start work in Nashville. This is a wonderful shift in our plans. Clarksville is a smaller challenge than Nashville will be and we will have the oversight of First Church and the wisdom of its elders to guide us through the process. It will be an amazing learning experience to which we are looking toward with excitement. Please pray that God continues to guide our hearts in His direction keeping our focus on His path which lies immediately before us without looking so far ahead that we lose sight of His purposes. We will still move toward Nashville, but not until He is finished using us for His work in Clarksville.

So we are leaving tomorrow morning for Clarksville in order to look for houses. I also have a couple of interviews lined up. We would appreciate your prayers. There are a lot of worries and concerns and doubts which attempt to overtake us daily. We know that God will provide as He always has, but our human minds are weak. Pray for strength and wisdom and mercy for us as we look for the home and job He already has set up for us. Thank you so much for being there with us in spirit. There is great encouragement in fellowship. We love you all!

we are joining the Community of Hope

2006-04-23T14:13:00.000-04:00

Brothers, Sisters, and Dearest Friends,

It has been three months since we last e-mailed. We asked for your prayers, words of encouragement, and words of caution. We received all of these. Thank you so very much for those who did write us regarding helping with the church plant in Nashville. Most of you were very encouraging and some were very cautious. All of your words were wise and we have thought and prayed over them. I would like to especially thank "superman" for his unbelievably uplifting words. I cried tears of joy and companionship as I read your e-mail. I appreciate so much your passion for Jesus and how that has played out in your support of me and my family.

We have decided that Nashville is indeed the direction God wants us to go. He has given us confirmation of this fact in many ways both expected and unexpected. We are excited and fearful all at the same time. There are many unknowns which lay ahead......job, house, medical insurance, etc. However, we do know that God will provide all we need to feed and clothe ourselves as we answer the call to His purposes (Romans 8:28). There is also a peace that comes with stepping out of the boat and into the crashing waves. The peace of God touches our hearts when we focus our attention on Him. It does not matter where He leads us. As long as we keep our eyes and hearts turned towards Him, His peace comfort us. Hopefully we will indeed keep focused. I am sure there will be times in which we glance away from His presence and look to the chaos around us. We will begin to sink just as Peter did. That is human of course, but God will lift us out of the water with His grace even though it is our fault for looking away. That is Love.

There are so many things to do. I am currently looking for a job in the Nashville/Clarksville area. I am willing to drive a little if need be. If anyone knows of good employment opportunities please drop me a line. I have a lot of experience in management and leadership roles in various arenas. I am willing to learn and start from scratch if needed. We are also looking at houses in the area. We do not want to live in the city. We were going to, but I want some land for Caleb to be able to run and play and develop an appreciation for God's natural creation. So we are looking in areas outside of Nashville but within 30 minutes or so. We are selling our two lots on Lake Cumberland. It has been a great investment for us, doubled in value in about two and half years. We need the money to help with purchasing a house. We are thankful that God provided this investment so that we can use it now.

Please be praying for us....job, house, peace of heart and mind, the move down to nashville, and just that He would give us the wisdom and assurance we need to make and follow through with all of these big decisions. In all things we strive to glorify Him. We do not want to allow our own wants and desires to interfer with all of this.

Please pray for this new church - Community of Hope. Pray that God guides us all, works through us, and touches the lives of many who do not know Him yet as well as strengthens the faith of those who already do.

His, emman

Where we are headed

2006-01-25T20:25:00.001-05:00

Hello Brothers, Sisters, and dearest friends,

I am writing this e-mail for a few purposes. One, to inform you all of what we believe God is calling us to do with our lives in the near and possibly far reaching future. Two, to request prayer that it be God's will to give us clarity and affirmation in this call. Three, to let all of you know that we are open to constructive words of wisdom. We have known you all for long enough and respect each and everyone of you. If you feel God tugging on your heart to tell us something, then please do not hesitate. We welcome your thoughts whether encouraging or cautious.

Jade and I have been praying about and focusing on what we feel God's path for us may be for a while now. The end of our current enlistment contract is this July. We both feel that our time in the Army at this level is finished. I began feeling a call to the ministry a very long time ago when I first went to college out of high school. I did not know which exact path into ministry I was to take nor was I sure of God's timing. We thought long and hard about me going to seminary and becoming a Chaplain in the next few years. I now feel God wants me to get back on the direct path into ministry making it the focus of what we do. The chaplaincy seemed a logical choice. With my experience in the Military I would be able to relate to and support soldiers in a special way as a Chaplain. But there is something missing in that path. I could not and still can not explain what. Am I fearful of what the next few years in seminary would be like for our family? Yes. Do I second guess myself at times and think that I do not have what it takes to lead soldiers spiritually? Yes. But those fears and doubts are my flesh speaking, not my heart which knows that God provides and that He will give me all the talent and skills I need to follow whichever path He has for me. He does all of that on a daily basis. And if I ever feel doubts in those areas all I have to do is think about the mountains and valleys in the Lees' lives which are a living hope and testimony to all those around them that God ALWAYS goes before us making what may seem impossible possible. I do not believe those fears were causing me to feel a void in that path.

About a week ago I received an e-mail from Jeff Stark, one of my closest brothers in Christ. He is answering a call from God to plant a new church in Nashville, TN. He sent this out to a select few only to ask for prayer that God keep him focused and guide he and his family through this. God tugged at my heart. When we were stationed at Ft. Campbell, Jeff and I had numerous conversations about starting a church someday. God has called him to begin this process in the next few months. Jade and I had already decided that she was getting out of the Army to be a full time mom this July at the end of her current enlistment contract. My contract ends this July as well which gives me the opportunity to be released from my service also. The timing is perfect. Jeff and I have always felt that God would bring us back together in His service at some point. Jade and I feel God is revealing to us His path for us.

I know some will say...What about the chaplaincy? There is much security in that position with the Army. I say that my security does not come from man or his organizations. God will provide our security as He defines it as we live out His purpose for our lives, no matter what that may be. He promises us that. I trust Him. Some will say...what about a job, how are you going to survive? I say that if God is calling us to Nashville, then He is going before me paving the way. He already has a means to put food on the table lined up for me. I just have to step out of the boat faithfully. He will allow me to walk on the water. There are many other doubts and fears which I could mention. I say I must not lean on MY own understanding, but instead look to and trust in the Lord and He will indeed make my paths straight.

I know myself and I know my wife. God has given us gifts that could be used in Nashville, such as loyalty, discernment, faithfulness, devotion, generosity, good work ethics, mad organizational skills, leadership, and Love. The greatest of these is indeed Love for that indeed is what a community of Hope and Faith is built upon.

Thanks in advance for your prayers and your welcome words of wisdom. I have comfort in one thing for sure...I know that whatever our decision, all of you will support us through it no matter what your individual opinions may be. Thank you all for being so special in our lives.

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Through the Grace of God,
Emman and Jade Chapman